Kristina Miller offers the following royalty-free article for you to publish online or in print. Feel free to use this article in your newsletter, website, ezine, blog, or forum. ----------- PUBLICATION GUIDELINES - You have permission to publish this article for free providing the "About the Author" box is included in its entirety. - Do not post/reprint this article in any site or publication that contains hate, violence, porn, warez, or supports illegal activity. - Do not use this article in violation of the US CAN-SPAM Act. If sent by email, this article must be delivered to opt-in subscribers only. - If you publish this article in a format that supports linking, please ensure that all URLs and email addresses are active links. - Please send a copy of the publication, or an email indicating the URL to [email protected] - Article Marketer (www.ArticleMarketer.com) has distributed this article on behalf of the author. Article Marketer does not own this article, please respect the author's copyright and publication guidelines. If you do not agree to these terms, please do not use this article. ----------- Article Title: Teach Your Children Discipline: The Importance of Age Appropriateness Author: Kristina Miller Category: Parenting Word Count: 819 Keywords: how to teach your children discipline, disciplining children, discipline for children Author's Email Address: [email protected] Article Source: http://www.articlemarketer.com ------------------ ARTICLE START ------------------
Setting out to teach your children discipline is perhaps one of the most important, valuable and long lasting things you will do ever for your children. When teaching discipline to children, the key is not just to "discipline" them - but to help them learn SELF-discipline, and to do so in ways they will understand. How can you teach your children discipline in a way that they will truly grasp, and be able to apply? The key is age appropriateness. You can thwart your own efforts before they even begin by trying to pile too much onto a child too young, or not expecting enough of an older child. In the first instance, the young child will become overwhelmed and feel defeated, confused and frustrated. In the second instance, your teen may sense that you're not serious, or you're not really expecting her to be responsible for her actions. That is why it is so important to exercise age appropriateness in consequences, explanations of rules and behavioral expectations. Your disciplinary "commands" must be age appropriate as well. For instance, a 2-year-old needs a very clear and firm "NO!" when they reach out to touch a hot stove or start screeching in line at the grocery store. A 4-year-old should have a simple explanation of why a behavior is forbidden - it is rude, disruptive, dangerous, unkind, etc. - and what the consequences will be if the behavior occurs again. An 11-year-old can have a discussion with you about why they think something is wrong, and why they shouldn't and won't do it again. A teen may need a lengthier heart-to-heart about why you want them to wait to have sex or why it is dangerous for them to drink alcohol. Trying to give a lengthy explanation or too many choices to a young child is just as damaging as ignoring the growing intellect of your preteen or teen and simply yelling, "NO!" It's also important to adjust the way you talk to your kids about discipline according to their age. When children are young, it is vital that you get down to their face level to talk to them or correct them if they are doing something wrong. Kneel or squat down so you are at eye-level with your child and can speak in a respectful, normal tone. Put one or two hands on their shoulders or hold their hand while you are speaking so that they focus and listen. Do not raise your voice, and do not shake them, but do maintain contact. When children are older, you will still want to speak to them in a respectful way. For instance, you might sit down at a table together so that you are eye-to-eye. Walking with them and talking with your arm on their shoulder is a positive interaction. However, you do not want to stand over them and give commands, or stand off in another room or down the hall and shout at them. You do not want to shout through a closed door. When older children are spoken to in a respectful manner, they learn to respect. Even more importantly, they learn that you believe in them and truly expect them to be responsible for their actions. Consequences and rewards must be adjusted to fit the age of the child as well. Before you dish out consequences, remember that young children can misbehave because they didn't know something was forbidden, or because they were hungry or exhausted, or because they don't yet have the motor skills to be able to avoid spilling that drink on the floor. Teens can have a grumpy or snappy attitude because they didn't get enough sleep for their rapidly growing bodies, or their hormones are throwing them for a loop. Understand where your child is physically and developmentally before dishing out consequences. Age-inappropriate rewards can be just as damaging to your quest to teach your children discipline as inappropriate punishments. If you praise your 10-year-old for every little thing he does correctly, with a big expressive smile and a "googly-baby" voice, you're not building his self-confidence - you're insulting him. You are telling him in very clear terms that you do not respect him, and you do not really expect him to behave. He will start to act accordingly. Setting up "bribes" instead of rewards is also damaging at any age. Never tell your child you will get them something if they are good (that's a bribe) - just surprise them with something if you feel they deserve it (that is a reward)! Make sure you keep your communication, consequences and rewards consistent and age appropriate as you teach your children discipline. They will feel respected, understood and loved - and that will translate into better behavior and happier kids! The author K.J. Miller is passionate about teaching discipline to children in an effective and loving way. She maintains a website (http://www.TeachYourChildrenSelfDiscipline.net) on how to teach your children discipline that works. ------------------ ARTICLE END ------------------ [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
