daripada pusing mikirin 300 Billion BBL. mending baca jokes ini sebagai selingan. sudah sering beredar di email2 tetapi yang ini khusus dikasih komentar tentang konsultan. ini 1 dari 3 seri yang akan di forward
fbs ======== Please find below some jokes quoted from a book: Plato and a Platypus, walk into a bar. By Thomas Catchcart & Daniel Klein. The comments in the message are made especially for consultants in any field and in any place. Clients can enjoy the jokes also. 1. Ted meets his friend Al and exclaims, “Al! I heard you died!” “Hardly” says Al, laughing, “As you can see I’m very much alive.” “Impossible,” says Ted. The man who told me is much more reliable than you.” (page 44) Message: It does not matter what the fact is. Credibility is number one. Therefore, it is very important you gain credibility in whatever field you are consulting. Once you get it you can even insult the hard real data. 2. A man walks into a pet store and asks to see the parrots. The store owner shows him two beautiful ones out on the floor. “This one is $5,000 and the other is $10,000,” he says. “Wow!” says the man. “What does the $5,000 one do?” “This parrot can sing every aria Mozart wrote,” says the store owner. “And the other?” “He sings Wagner’s entire Ring cycle. There’s another parrot out back for $30,000.” “Holey moley! What does he do?” “Nothing that I’ve heard, but the other two call him “Maestro”. (page 44) Message: Network is important. Especially if you can have references from the “known” or / proven” experts. Rumour tends to work the other way around though. 3. Salesman: “Ma’am this vacuum cleaner will cut your work in half.” Customer: “Terrific! Give me two of them.” (page 47) Message: Be careful with client who thinks that the more consultants in a project the faster it will be finished, because the other way around is the truth. 4. A man is worried that his wife is losing her hearing, so he consults a doctor. The doctor suggests that he tried a simple at-home test on her: Stand behind her and ask her a question, first from twenty feet away, next from ten feet, and finally right behind her. So the man goes home and sees his wife in the kitchen facing the stove. He says from the door, “What’s for dinner tonight” No answer. Ten feet behind her he repeats, “What’s for dinner tonight?” Still no answer. Finally, right behind her he says, “What’s for dinner tonight?” And his wife turn around and says: “For the third time –Chicken” (page 55) Message: If your client is completely lost with your explanation or your work; sit back and check your work again. It might be you who are completely screw up. 5. Joe: What a fabulous singer, huh? Blow: Ha, if I had his voice, I’d be just as good. (page 69) Message: Admit it! Some consultants is better than other in one type of work/specialties. 6. There’s a surefire way to live to a ripe old age – eat a meatball a day for a hundred years (page 68) . Message: This one is for clients. Make sure you understand the conclusions / recommendations of your consultant. He might not have done anything and just play with words to convince you. 7. A young married couple moves into a new apartment and decides to repaper the dining room. They call on a neighbor who has a dining room the same size and ask, “How many rolls of wallpaper did you buy when you papered your dining room?” “Seven”, he says. So the couple buys seven rolls of expensive paper, and they start papering. When they get to the end of the fourth rol, the dining room is finished. Annoyed, he go back to the neighbor, and say, “ We followed your advice, but we ended up with three extra rolls.” “So”, he says, “that happened to you too” (page 128 -129) Message: make sure you ask the right question 8. A 911 dispatcher receives a panicky call from hunter. “I’ve just come across a bloodstained body in the woods! It’s a man, and I think he’s dead! What should I do?” The dispatcher calmly replies, “It’s going to be alright sir. Just follow my instructions. The first thing is to put the phone down and make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence on the phone, followed by the sound of a shot. The man’s voice returns, “Okay. Now what do I do?” Message: be careful with your instructions. This is true for both the clients and consultants. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- CALONKAN DIRI ANDA SEBAGAI KETUA UMUM IAGI 2008-2011 !!!!! PENDAFTARAN CALON KETUA 13 FEB S/D 6 JUNI 2008 PENGHITUNGAN SUARA: PIT IAGI 37 DI BANDUNG ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- To unsubscribe, send email to: iagi-net-unsubscribe[at]iagi.or.id To subscribe, send email to: iagi-net-subscribe[at]iagi.or.id Visit IAGI Website: http://iagi.or.id Pembayaran iuran anggota ditujukan ke: Bank Mandiri Cab. 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