Hi Janice, I'm a bit late in chiming in on this. I sure can understand how you must feel!
I rode a very HOT ...HOT horse for many years. Riding Wizard was like riding a firecracker, not knowing when it would explode. I loved that horse so much. But..now looking back, I should have retired him a long time ago. When Wizard lost his vision, he had a mental breakdown. That year, I tried to keep riding him. What a mistake that was! In 5 short months, he almost killed me three times. Debbie from MN, who is on this list was with me that very last time I rode Wizard. She can tell you how scary that day was. I cried so hard all the way back to camp, knowing that this would be the last time I would ever ride Wizard. Anywho...the point I am trying to make is this. If you are really afraid of this Stonewall, you need to get a trainer to help you and Stonewall. When I got Huginn, I carried A LOT of baggage from Wizard. For the first year, Huginn really intimated me. Because, I was riding him the way I had been riding Wizard. Waiting for the fuse to burn down and the firecracker to explode. What I needed to learn was this...Huginn was not Wizard. Huginn was not reacting in the same manner that Wizard was. Huginn was being rude, obnoxious, and a bully. While Wizard was simply a very scared horse. Fear dominated his life. I know that this was Wizard's baggage from what the trainer had done to him. But..no matter what I did, that fear would always be there. The last 3 years before Wizard lost his vision, yes he was improving. He was starting to settle down just a bit. Now...had he never lost his vision, would he have kept getting better, calmer? Sure...but...I believe that fear would always be just under the surface. I think that horses like humans can become mentally damaged, I believe that Wizard suffered from something similar to what humans go through when they have PTSD. Now..how did I work on getting my confidence back. First of all, I am still working on it. It's an on-going process. But...last spring I attended two clinics that really helped me. One was a spring training tune up clinic. My friend Chris is a trainer, and every year she puts on this clinic. What was good about this clinic, is that she was able to see things that Huginn was doing under saddle that I could not. I thought he was reacting to me making requests because he was a bit afraid, hell no. He was refusing to do certain things, because he was being defiant. Huginn is a bully! For me...fear & defiant felt the same in the saddle. My baggage from Wizard was preventing me from seeing the difference between the two. What an eye opener for me. <;] The second clinic was the Mary Hamiltion's despooking clinic. WOW! What a great way to get to know your pony. This clinic strongly affirm the fact that Huginn is a very brave pony, but ...alas, tends to be very stubborn, set in his ways, a bit on the defiant side. Huginn is a bully! I learned that the way you deal with a scared horse and a defiant, bully horse are very different. Here I was ...trying to deal with Huginn, mybad-ass pony as if he was scared. What I needed to do, was deal with him totally different. Huginn was being rude, and trying to bully me. I needed to stay mentally strong. I need to be firm in my requests. I needed to ask, tell and then demand that Huginn do what was being requested of him. What a difference last year's riding season was. When Huginn would start to "act up". I called him on it, most of the times he checked himself. If not, we would spin, spin, back, back until he figured out that I was the herd boss, I was calling the shots and he needed to behave. Huginn needed to learn that he was not going to bully me around. Janice, I guess what I am trying to say is this. You need to figure out why Stonewall is doing what is he doing. Is it fear? Or is he being defiant...a bully? You may need a trainer to help you figure this out. Cuz, once you know what you are dealing with, you will know how to approach the problem. Good Luck! Raven
