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Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere Yesterday is a dream, tomorrow but a vision. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well, therefore to this day. When solving problems, dig at the roots instead of just hacking at the leaves. Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens. Love is the beauty of the soul. Can miles truly separate you from friends... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there? Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life. Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you. Not because they are nice, but because you are. The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. Friends are as companions on a journey, who ought to aid each other to persevere in the road to a happier life. Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life. Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same. When you're in love you never really know whether your elation comes from the qualities of the one you love, or if it attributes them to her; whether the light which surrounds her like a halo comes from you, from her, or from the meeting of your sparks. Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light. I discovered I always have choices and sometimes it's only a choice of attitude. Why is it drug addicts and computer afficionados are both called users? Drinking provides a beautiful excuse to pursue the one activity that truly gives me pleasure -- hooking up with fat, hairy girls. All right, Brain, I don't like you and you don't like me -- so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer. Why is it drug addicts and computer afficionados are both called users? When love is not madness, it is not love. If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome. Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact. Drinking provides a beautiful excuse to pursue the one activity that truly gives me pleasure -- hooking up with fat, hairy girls. Those who are willing to sacrifice essential liberties for a little order, will lose both and deserve neither. Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol I would like to believe when I die that I have given myself away like a tree that sows seed every spring and never counts the loss, because it is not loss, it is adding to future life. It is the tree's way of being. Strongly rooted perhaps, but spilling out its treasure on the wind. I would like to believe when I die that I have given myself away like a tree that sows seed every spring and never counts the loss, because it is not loss, it is adding to future life. It is the tree's way of being. Strongly rooted perhaps, but spilling out its treasure on the wind. What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. Love is the beauty of the soul Can miles truly separate you from friends... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there? I discovered I always have choices and sometimes it's only a choice of attitude. Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time. Solitude, if rightly used, becomes not only a privilege but a necessity. Only a superficial soul fears to fraternize with itself. Yesterday is a dream, tomorrow but a vision. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well, therefore to this day. The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober. The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands in times of challenge and controversy. Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why. Then do it. Hatch a dream and then believe it. A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes. Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life. Books are the shoes with which we tread the footsteps of great minds. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same. A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes. Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you. Not because they are nice, but because you are. Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle; rather a great reminder of just how strong true love can be. Love is the energy of the soul. Love is what heals the personality. There is nothing that cannot be healed by love. There is nothing but love. Love is the immortal flow of energy that nourishes, extends and preserves. Its eternal goal is life. I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy. When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it. A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes. Compassion alone stands apart from the continuous traffic between good and evil proceeding within us. All love shifts and changes. I don't know if you can be wholeheartedly in love all the time. Who so loves believes the impossible. I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy. A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a shp, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time. Love is always bestowed as a gift - freely, willingly and without expectation. We don't love to be loved; we love to love. A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a shp, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. Love is the beauty of the soul. Can miles truly separate you from friends... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there? A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. Why is it drug addicts and computer afficionados are both called users? Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand and melting like a snowflake. What lies behind us and what lies before us, are only small matters compared to what lies within us. Too often we give our children answers to remember rather than problems to solve. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. Drinking provides a beautiful excuse to pursue the one activity that truly gives me pleasure -- hooking up with fat, hairy girls. Love is the immortal flow of energy that nourishes, extends and preserves. Its eternal goal is life. Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. Memory is a child walking along a seashore. You never can tell what small pebble it will pick up and store away among its treasured things. Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. Why is it drug addicts and computer afficionados are both called users? I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a ... brain operation. Love is the immortal flow of energy that nourishes, extends and preserves. Its eternal goal is life. Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. The great thing about television is that if something important happens anywhere in the world, day or night, you can always change the channel. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Compassion alone stands apart from the continuous traffic between good and evil proceeding within us. Solitude, if rightly used, becomes not only a privilege but a necessity. Only a superficial soul fears to fraternize with itself. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens. Hatch a dream and then believe it. I would like to believe when I die that I have given myself away like a tree that sows seed every spring and never counts the loss, because it is not loss, it is adding to future life. It is the tree's way of being. Strongly rooted perhaps, but spilling out its treasure on the wind. What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it. It's not that chocolates are a substitute for love. Love is a substitute for chocolate. Chocolate is, let's face it, far more reliable than a man. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
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