I have experience this problem, as well (see example log entry below).  In
this case the "A" record for paml.com points to their web server and not the
same IP address and "A" record as the "MX record, which points to
mail.paml.com.

Well, what's the pb?  the domain.com and the mail.domain.com are two different  ip's, maybe two different machines.  sounds like valid, even recommendable, idea, to me.

And to make things worse, the web servers appears to be
running an SMTP service, as well, but which refuses to relay for the domain
paml.com

I've read recently that some MTA's, having failed to deliver to the primary MX ip, will try domain's ip itself. ie, MX ip, and then A ip, but what about the MX secondary ip's?  Are is there only one MX for the domain?

 (I know, this is really a problem with the way they have things
setup on their end,

why is it a pb on there end? what's invalid? 

If their domain.com really has an SMTP service running when it shouldn't be, then that's wrong, and I bet they don't even know it's running.  The above behaviour of some MTA's trying the main domain.com ip will cause pb's.

 but the reality is that we have to deal with these kinds
of problems everyday).  If there is a way to disable the "A" record delivery
attempts, please let us know how to do it.

It's a behaviour by the sending MTA, so you have to run the pb by the admin there.

Len

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