http://news.kuwaittimes.net/2013/03/07/rape-why-it-is-much-more-than-just-a-four-letter-word/
Rape: Why it is much more than just a four-letter word ‘Don’t tell your daughters what to wear, teach your sons not to rape’; ‘My clothes aren’t an invitation for you to rape me’; ‘Hand over the rapists to the public for justice’; ‘Rape is not about sex, it’s about power’ – These were some of the placards that the enraged public held in India after the heinous gang-rape of a 23-year-old medical student by six men which resulted in her death in Singapore after she was flown there for medical treatment in December last year. The brutality inflicted on her body with a rusted iron rod shocked the whole nation and sparked vigils, protests, and marches calling for changes in the law. Even though the incident took place in India, the whole world was aware of the viciousness of the episode and everyone felt their blood run cold. Why? Because they knew that it could happen to anyone in any country and is happening now, even as this article is being read. According to the US Department of Justice, a woman is raped every two minutes somewhere in America. Closer home in Kuwait, most of the rape cases go unreported and unregistered even though it is known to be one of the most violent crimes. Rape cases of women and sometimes even men, mostly young boys, can be read about in the crime section on a daily basis which is indicative of the rising incidence of sexual assaults taking place in Kuwait. When it is clear that the numbers haven’t fallen, why don’t we have certified figures? Official statistics issued by the General Department for Criminal Evidences stated that 4,664 theft crimes including 3,097 felony offenses and 1,570 misdemeanors were committed in 2012, according to a local daily. When there are official numbers available for theft crimes, why isn’t something as violent as rape recorded for reference? A Ministry of Interior official on the condition of anonymity said that statistics haven’t been recorded and not only single women but also married women have filed rape cases against their husbands, apart from homosexuals who have filed charges against other men. He also added that if a victim comes to file a complaint, they are referred to the General Prosecutor for further action. An unofficial source revealed on the condition of anonymity that money usually exchanges hands and rape cases tend to either go unregistered or are “settled” between the parties involved and never make it to the files, in the process. ‘Children affected the most’ Dr Khaled Al-Muhanadi, a psychiatrist in Kuwait, reveals that some women in the Gulf choose to stay silent after being sexually assaulted fearing societal stigma, even if they are raped by their own husbands. “They fear being accused of participating in this crime and giving their ‘consent’”, he says. Al-Muhanadi further reveals that rape cases in the Gulf society have increased as women have reservations about reporting them to the authorities, which only encourages the offenders to attack more women, secure in the knowledge that they can get away scot-free. It’s not just women, Al-Muhanadi says, “Children from negligent families who get raped are the most affected of the lot”. Rape cases aren’t treated with the same severity as murder cases as the common ideology is that a murder results in the loss of life whereas rape is a sexual crime with no fatality involved. The fact that rape isn’t purely limited to a physical attack but extends to have severe repercussions on the mental, emotional, and psychological health of the individual is often overlooked. The National Women’s Study reports that almost one-third of all rape victims develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), a severely debilitating disorder which occurs after a highly traumatic event, such as military combat or violent crime. Common symptoms of PTSD include depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety attacks, sleeplessness, nervous breakdowns, guilt or shame and selfblame, substance abuse and physical aches and pains. Faisal Al-Bader, a 26-year-old Kuwaiti says that instances of rape and molestation are rising as the perpetrators have ‘wasta’ and know that they can get away with it. Al-Bader said that when someone has ‘wasta’, they know they have the power to get away with anything, including murder. When people know that they can’t expect justice, they won’t go through the trouble of reporting to the authorities. He says that though the laws are in place, they aren’t implemented effectively and most of the rape cases go unreported because of the society here. “They don’t report it because they feel ashamed as the society doesn’t treat them as victims but rather as someone who brought it upon themselves. When crimes aren’t reported, there is no fear of consequences for the criminals”. Al-Bader admits that the rape victim and family, in fact, can expect isolation and this is the reason many families choose to hush it up. “In Kuwait, nobody will want to marry a rape victim as virginity is seen as a big deal”. ‘Reflection of repressed society’ Rape or sexual assaults happen all over the world but some countries report a higher number of statistics than others. Until recently, many people believed that South Africa lead the world in rape cases and has even earned the chilling moniker ‘Rape Capital of the World’ but according to recent reports, Sweden is catching up. According to WND World, Sweden now has the second highest number of rapes in the world and statistics suggest that 1 out of every 4 Swedish women will be raped. Rapists can be found all over the world at any given point in time, depending on who is at the wrong place at the wrong time. It has nothing to do with whether the country is a super power or an under-developed one. >From time immemorial, it has been used as the cheapest and most potent weapon >during wars. Nisreen Hamadeh, a 40-year-old Lebanese expat in Kuwait thinks >that sexual violence reflects a repressed society, which can be divided based >on literacy. “Educated people sympathize and help a victim get back on her >feet and get over the trauma whereas the ignorant and uneducated ones hate >them and blame them for getting sexually violated”. She says that there are >people who actually believe that a woman cannot be raped and if she did get >raped, it was “because she wanted it” and slams it as one of the most >ridiculous and uninformed ideas. Hamadeh opines that one of the reasons rape >victims do not report the crime to the authorities is because that’s the only >way they have a second shot at settling down in life. “It’s possible for a >woman to get married even after the attack – provided nobody knows about it”. Khaled Al-Kindari, a 26-year-old Kuwaiti says that he considers rape a major crime and if the law didn’t provide him with justice, he wouldn’t “hesitate to take the law into his own hands” if it involved a family member. Al-Kindari might be an icon of the progressive- thinking Kuwaiti generation as he said that if he personally knows the woman, he would consider marrying her and that awareness and education is the key to stop attacks. “It will only stop when men develop more respect for women”. ‘Being an expat is not easy’ Being an expatriate woman in any country can fill one with a sense of heightened responsibility for one’s safety. The language can pose as much a barrier as every taxi driver who could pose a potential threat. Western expats experience a cultural shock and it takes a while for them to get a grip on how society in the Middle East works. While making friends with boys and having an easy conversation over coffee back home wouldn’t have raised a second thought, here in Kuwait, it could be seen as openly inviting trouble. Janet, a 24-year-old American expat, says her hackles rise when she gets mistaken to be “easy” because of her blonde hair. “Many men here think that an expat Western woman is easy game and openly hit on me or make sexually suggestive remarks or behave in an inappropriate way. There’s a lot of bias against certain nationalities in Kuwait where many think ‘Okay, I can have fun with her because she also wants it’. At this point, it’s not just sexual harassment anymore; it’s racial harassment!” If Western expats think it’s hard to fend off unwarranted attention, Asian expats don’t believe they have it easy either. Liza, a 42- year-old Filipina expat has a harrowing time when she has to get back home a little late from work. Dealing with teenage boys, and sometimes even men, who stop their cars and honk at her or wave two or three KD 20 bills outside the window at night as she waits for public transport to get home is a regular ordeal. Standing at just 5 feet, she says she used to fear for her life earlier but has now got used to it. “Here, they think that we are only maids or they can buy us with money and make us do anything. When I was young, I used to think that only young and pretty girls were at risk of being attacked but now at 42, I know that age has nothing to do with rape… I feel very scared but what can I do? I have to get out of the house every day and work”. When a woman complains of sexual harassment or molestation, the first question that she’s asked is: “What were you wearing?” Lubna (name changed on request) a 24-year-old Pakistani expat says that it’s the most ridiculous argument that she’s ever come across. She says that she can’t wrap her head around how people link clothes to the crime and argues that it is just another way of making women feel emasculated and victimized further. Lubna says “Let’s assume for a minute that clothes indeed invite rape. How will that explain why Afghani women – who are covered in such a way that even their family members can’t recognize them – get raped in Afghanistan? What about young children, young boys who get sodomized? Or what about camels or goats, for that matter – or should they have been wearing clothes?” ‘Enjoying the act’? Lawmakers who take the biggest decisions for the nation can sometimes make the women question the ones in power. Recently in Jakarta, Indonesia, a senior Indonesian judge was dismissed for saying rape victims “enjoyed the act”. High Court judge Daming Sunusi made the remarks in answering a question on whether death penalty should be introduced for convicted rapists, saying capital punishment should not be applied because “the one raped and the rapist both enjoy it”. Interestingly, other lawmakers who were present during this meeting found this hilarious and burst into laughter, according to the Jakarta Globe newspaper. Ultimately after everything is said and done, progress of a country can be gauged by equality between the sexes. Women’s liberation and female empowerment take a beating when the law not only refuses to give adequate protection but society also questions a woman’s morals, ethics and intentions when she is violated, instead of offering support and empathy. The economic growth of a nation can be hampered if women are forced to give up their jobs in lieu of safety. A major shift in attitude and perspective is required, opines Nehmat Dhillon, a 24-year-old Indian. “Once a person rapes and gets away with it, it becomes a habit and wherever they see an easy target, they attack just like a hungry animal”. Dhillon says that “the hunger” needs to be channelized and everyone needs to stop controlling others to create a society which works on health and well-being. By Priyanka Saligram and Sahar Moussa [email protected] [email protected] [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
