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Texas woman wins funeral first prize
Elaine Fulps is thrilled about the prize she won at a minor league baseball
game. But she's hoping she doesn't have to collect on it anytime soon.
Fulps, 60, won a $10,000 paid funeral at Tuesday night's Grand Prairie,
Texas AirHogs game.

The prize won't expire until after Fulps does, said Ron Alexander, the sales
manager at Oak Grove Memorial Gardens, which partnered with the team and
Irving's Chapel of Roses Funeral Home to sponsor the event.

"I almost croaked many times," said Fulps, who was wearing a neck brace —
the most recent effect of about 20 surgeries she's undergone for various
medical problems. "God still has me around for a reason. To win a funeral."

Fans in this Dallas suburb were eager to join in the grim fun.

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Some finalists for the prize arrived dressed in black or looking like death.
The finalists participated in a pallbearer's race, a mummy wrap and a eulogy
delivery.

Fulps, randomly chosen as the winner at night's end, said she'll choose a
casket and plot as soon as she recovers.

"I'm going to pick a spot under a tree out of the Texas heat," she told The
Dallas Morning News. "And let's hope it's a pet-free cemetery. I don't want
to get watered on."

We don't think this is a very good baseball promotion. Unless Phelps can be
buried under home plate.

Last week we were thrilled to hear about the first "space beer" to be made
in Japan, so we should not be surprised the contrarian French are going in
the opposite direction: one of the nation's oldest Champagne producers is
testing a new way of aging its bubbly — on the seabed off northern France.

Louis Roederer wants to find out if its wine tastes better if it is kept in
cold sea water and is rocked by currents than in the cellars of the city of
Reims, where it is normally stored.

Roederer said on Monday it had placed several dozen bottles 50 feet
underwater in the bay of Mont Saint-Michel, a rocky tidal island off the
coast of Normandy, last weekend.

A wine-cellar worker came up with the idea after realizing that the water
temperature in the bay, a constant 50 degrees Fahrenheit was ideal for aging
wine.

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In 12 months' time, Roederer will hold a tasting session to compare
Champagne from the bottles kept on the seabed with those from its cellars.

Roederer is the first producer to test the unusual aging method for
sparkling wine. Other firms have tried it out in the past four years for
still wines, including red Crozes-Hermitage, white Muscadet and white
Burgundy.

They ought to market all these vintages together with the slogan: "We'll
serve no wine before high tide!"

See Mom get cosmetic surgery
No one's confusing this M.D. with Dr. Seuss: A plastic surgeon has written a
children's book explaining nose jobs, fat-reduction surgery, and breast
implants.

Dr. Michael Salzhauer, from Miami, wrote "My Beautiful Mommy," which comes
complete with cartoon-style illustrations. He says it's to help four to
seven-year-olds prepare for their parents' plastic surgery so they aren't
shocked by the results.

But the book, which tells the story of a little girl whose mother gets a
tummy tuck, breast implants and nose job, has been criticized for
encouraging young people that everyone should have plastic surgery.

It follows the mom through first consultation until after her surgery as she
explains to her children what is going to happen.

At one point the girl asks: "Why are you going to look different?" Mom
responds: "Not just different, my dear — prettier!"

Dr. Salzhauer, a father of five, says the book is not meant to be a regular
children's bedtime story but plays a specific purpose.

Yea, to drum up business
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