AL-ISLAAH
PUBLICATIONS
P.O.Box 1106 Kroonstad,South Africa,
9500
Tel no.: 27-56
-2124604 / 27-83 477 3786(mobile
no.)
e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
web-site: www.everymuslim.com
Dealing with the Elderly: An Etiquette Tipsheet
By Samana Siddiqui
Reprinted
from Soundvision
How often is it that we see people, Muslim or not, uttering worse than the 'Uff' Allah orders us not to say in dealing with their aging parents?
Keeping Islamic etiquette when it comes to our parents or seniors is hard in a culture that's becoming increasingly rude.
Below are five tips that can help:
1. Remember that the Elderly are people too
They aren't cast offs, they are not burdens. They were once our age, young, with dreams, aspirations, in most cases families. They are individuals who have contributed to society by raising kids, working in a number of professions, and they were and can be productive now too. See them as people, who deserve respect.
2. Spend quality time with them
This means spending quality time with them, taking meals with them. We're less likely to treat someone we consider a friend rudely than someone who we deem a stranger.
3. Take a break from caregiving
If you're one of the Muslims who, Alhamdulillah, has taken on the task of caring for parents who are seniors, take a day off from the 'job'. Give yourself a break by asking help from a relative who lives nearby or a friend. This will ease the pressure and stress, which can lead to a buildup in emotions, especially anger and frustration.
4. Give someone else a break from caregiving
If you know of a brother or sister who is taking care of his/her parent(s), give them a break. Take their parents out for a day or just to your home for meals. Do what you can to ease the pressure. This can also benefit you if you never grew up around seniors. The experience can teach patience, kindness and you can even learn from seniors.
5. Be Patient
While this is easier said than done, it is necessary. While many of us tend to exercise patience with kids in the face of bad behavior, this practice is often thrown out the window when it comes to our seniors.
Think of them as children now too, part of the life cycle. They are frail physically as well as emotionally. There is so much emphasis on building the self-esteem of our kids, but we often see people tearing down the self-esteem of our elders.
We can only truly stop this practice with patience.
And a special note should be made of long stories, which seniors are often fond of sharing. Instead of interrupting or expressing exasperation, perhaps take out a tape recorder, or better yet, write down the story being recounted. That way you will force yourself to listen, and you'll have a great historical document once the narration is complete.
Courtesy: www.everymuslim.com
***************************************************************************
{Invite (mankind, O Muhammad ) to the Way of your Lord (i.e. Islam) with wisdom (i.e. with the Divine Inspiration and the Qur'an) and fair preaching, and argue with them in a way that is better. Truly, your Lord knows best who has gone astray from His Path, and He is the Best Aware of those who are guided.}
(Holy Quran-16:125)
{And who is better in speech than he who [says: "My Lord is Allah (believes in His Oneness)," and then stands straight (acts upon His Order), and] invites (men) to Allah's (Islamic Monotheism), and does righteous deeds, and says: "I am one of the Muslims."} (Holy Quran-41:33)
The prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "By Allah, if Allah guides one person by you, it is better for you than the best types of camels." [al-Bukhaaree, Muslim]
The prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) also said, "Whoever calls to guidance will have a reward similar to the reward of the one who follows him, without the reward of either of them being lessened at all."
[Muslim, Ahmad, Aboo Daawood, an-Nasaa'ee, at-Tirmidhee, Ibn Maajah]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
All views expressed herein belong to the individuals concerned and do not in any way reflect the official views of IslamCity unless sanctioned or approved otherwise.
If your mailbox clogged with mails from IslamCity, you may wish to get a daily digest of emails by logging-on to http://www.yahoogroups.com to change your mail delivery settings or email the moderators at [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the title "change to daily digest".
| Yahoo! Groups Sponsor | |
|
|
Yahoo! Groups Links
- To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/islamcity/
- To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
- Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
