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https://issues.apache.org/jira/browse/GEOMETRY-127?page=com.atlassian.jira.plugin.system.issuetabpanels:all-tabpanel
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Alex Herbert deleted GEOMETRY-127:
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> Parenting in the Age of Online Technology
> -----------------------------------------
>
> Key: GEOMETRY-127
> URL: https://issues.apache.org/jira/browse/GEOMETRY-127
> Project: Apache Commons Geometry
> Issue Type: Bug
> Reporter: Basia Burch
> Priority: Major
>
> Parenting isn't a popularity contest. Unfortunately, many modern parents act
> this way - and they don't want to lose. Yearning for approval, parents are
> terrified to take a strong stand with their children. They fear their kids
> won't like them. So they resort to explaining, clarifying, negotiating, and
> appeasing.
> This development can be devastating to our families and our communities.
> Parents must understand that our kids are going to hate us at times. They are
> going to be mad at us and yell at us and slam doors in our faces. It's
> perfectly OK for them - and for us - to have that discomfort. It will go
> away. They will still love us, we will still love them, and they will be far
> more prepared for living in the Great Big World than they would if we
> protected them from the ups and downs of life.
> Setting limits isn't just a good idea for parents: It's a crucial step toward
> creating independent thinkers with a healthy mental outlook.
> Believe me, if setting limits were easy, more people would do it. It can be
> uncomfortable for us and it's often quite disappointing for children. We
> can't help but disappoint them. What we can do is validate their feelings and
> help them mourn the loss. This stance will raise a generation of risk takers
> who won't be afraid of trying and failing - because they have had the direct
> experience of surviving disappointment.
> How do we begin to reverse this frightening societal trend? Parents need to
> clarify their own values and communicate these to their children in confident
> consistent ways. Perhaps most importantly, they cannot be afraid that their
> kids won't like them.
> Limit setting is crucial when it comes to technology. Some parents can try to
> ignore technology and hope it goes away. But the Internet and social
> networking are here to stay. It's scary to think that your kids probably know
> more *[complextime|https://complextime.com/]* than you do already. So it's
> imperative that parents figure out how they want to integrate technology into
> their own family values.
> In order to make the modern technological world safe for children, parents
> must:
> Forbid the use of technology for babies.
> Yes, parents use iPhones to distract and appease their babies. A recent print
> advertisement showed a plush toy that held an iPhone so the baby could push
> its buttons - even though the baby wasn't even old enough to hold it! The
> American Pediatrics Academy recommends that children under two don't watch
> television at all. Make a decision, and stick to your guns - even if you have
> to deal with a temper tantrum.
> Restrict the Use of Cell and Smart Phones
> We've lost all perspective when we let our middle schoolers (or younger) walk
> around with smart phones. The reality is that no middle school child needs to
> search the Internet or send and receive email when they are away from home.
> Cell phones should never be allowed in school: If a parent or child needs to
> reach each other during the school day, he or she can go through the school
> office. This system has been working successfully for decades now. But if we
> want the convenience of having a child have a phone, limit the options on the
> other end. For instance, we can block certain phone numbers, limit the number
> of calls, check monthly bills and make sure the rules are being followed. In
> other words, by determining a reasonable balance we can have convenience and
> security yet retain some control.
> Pay Attention.
> I know modern life can be distracting. But what's more important than making
> sure your child is safe? These days, that means knowing what they are doing
> on the Internet, who they chat with, and what sites they visit. Both you and
> your kids need to understand that it's not like writing in a diary - anything
> they do is headed for the vast unknown we call cyberspace. Educate them about
> the fact that everything they write and upload is public. Spend time with
> them so they can show you what they are into and who their online friends
> are. Check out these friends, just as you would a "real" friend. Today's
> technology is the Wild West - no rules, no etiquette about what is said and
> how people conduct themselves.
> Educate Themselves.
> How can you help your kids navigate this confusing terrain when you have no
> clue? Learn about social networking, sign up for your own Facebook account,
> educate yourself about different settings on different sites. Understand the
> rules: For instance, the minimum age for a Facebook Page is thirteen. But,
> you should also know that everyone lies on the Internet - why not? It's easy.
> The reality is that lots of 11 year olds have Facebook pages to get in the
> game. This means that the person "chatting" with your child who says they are
> a 15-year old girl, might, in fact be a 42-year old man. Information is power.
> Be A Role Model.
> Today's parents are constantly bombarded with conflicting messages about the
> role of technology in their kid's lives. Can't live with it-can't live
> without it. There's a steady stream of news stories about the dangers of the
> Internet, yet kids are completely hooked into their smartphones and their
> online fantasy worlds-just as their parents are! Be a role model for your
> kids. When you are talking to them, put down your cell phone. Carve out
> family time with no technology. Create rituals that involve "old-fashioned"
> fun like word games and art projects. Don't jump up to answer a call during
> dinner.
> Parenting is hard. There is no manual. It's on the job training with the
> highest of stakes. It's relentlessly being in the trenches and acting on
> instinct and experience. We sometimes do a terrible job. We may not be
> perfect. But if we pay attention and follow these few simple rules, mostly
> we'll do just fine.
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