I had to monitor every minute of his work or he would quit
on me. I hate fighting with him but after having no TV priviledges for
almost 3 weeks & still fighting me about the work I thought I was going to go
beserk.
Debbie,
Sounds like you've got your hands full there. How old is the older son - about 11 or 12, I think? Maybe its time to consider a different way of handling things. There comes a time when you have to let them "find their own level". Is it possible that some of the stress he is expressing is due to the pressure to keep his grades so high? It may be that he is not willing to do what it takes to keep all A's. And that is not the end of the world.
My older son is a freshman in high school now. In the lower grades he was always an A student. By 4th grade, he was getting A's & B's, which has continued through today. He is extremely bright and very creative and was always capable of getting straight A's, but he did not want to work that hard. I came to the conclusion that it was better to let him work at the level he was comfortable with, even if that meant that he got B's sometimes. I don't think it proves anything to force a child to work for A's. I did tell him that only A's & B's were acceptable, given his ability. And he managed to do that quite well without too much prodding or interference from me.
My younger son is now 10 and in 4th grade. He still gets almost all A's. I do study with him, but not to an extreme. He does his homework on his own and I go over the studying with him. Ironically, although he is smart, he is not as brilliant as his older brother. However, he is more organized by nature and follows through on his work better.
You might consider the idea that it is time for you to step back and see what he can do on his own. He just might surprise you. If you want to discuss this further, please feel free to write me off-list.
Diane
