----- Original Message ----- From: Biliarszki Emil <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Tuesday, July 04, 2000 11:51 Subject: Fwd:Bumper stickers > Korai Orom Lista - http://www.korai.hu > > pleasure minutes for our English-speaking friends: > > Real Bumperstickers Spotted on American Roadways > * Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway > * Forget the Whales. Save the Cowboy > * I'm From the Government. I'm Here to Help You. > * Old Skiers Never Die. They Just Go Downhill. > * Money Isn't Everything, but It Sure Keeps the Kids in Touch > * This Vehicle Swerves and Hits Pedestrians at Random > * Don't steal. The government hates the competition. > * We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse. > * The sex was so good that even the neighbours had a cigarette. > * Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot. > * I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing. > * He who laughs last thinks slowest! > * Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. > * Give me ambiguity or give me something else. > * More hay, Trigger?" "No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed. > * A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries. > > * Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. > * There's too much blood in my caffeine system. > * Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control. > * Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now. > * What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free? > * Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. > * I used to have a handle on life, then it broke. > * Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive. > * I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. > * Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot. > * Where there's a will, I want to be in it. > * We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART? > * Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. > * Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy. > * Forget about world peace...visualize using your turn signal. > * I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a > vegetarian. > * If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made with meat? > * According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist. > * Some people are alive only because it is illegal to kill them. > * Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have. > * Warning: dates on calendar are closer than they appear. > * 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't. > * Why is "abbreviation" such a long word? > * Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? > * Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggie!"... Till you can find a rock. > * Auntie Em: hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog....Dorothy > * I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die. > * I love cats...they taste just like chicken > * Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. > * Cover me. I'm changing lanes. > * As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools > * Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot. > * Montana --- At least our cows are sane! > * It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you. > * Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips." > * Friends don't let Friends drive Naked. > * Wink, I'll do the rest! > * I took an IQ test and the results were negative. > * Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check? > * Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students! > * Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy. > * I souport publik edekasion > * We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated. > * Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home. > * 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2. > * Back Up My Hard Drive? How do I Put it in Reverse? > * I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. > * Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film. > * Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it. > * Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. > * I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe. > * He's not dead, He's electroencephalographically challenged. > * She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the June Flower. > * You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, > then used against you. > * I wonder how much deeper would the ocean be without sponges. > * Honk if you love peace and quiet. > * Pardon my driving, I am reloading. > * Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular? > * Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool. > * A day without sun shine is like, you know, night. > * Save the whales. Collect the whole set. > * On the other hand, you have different fingers. > * Time is what keeps things from happening all at once. > * I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling > like the passengers in his car. > * Why doesn't Batman have a Batbeeper? > * Horn broken. Watch for finger. > * All generalizations are false. > * I brake for no apparent reason. > * I'm not as think as you drunk I am. > * Forget the Joneses, I keep us up with the Simpsons. > * Born free...Taxed to death. > * The more people I meet, the more I like my dog. > * I get enough exercise just pushing my luck. > * Work is for people who don't know how to fish. > * If you don't like the news, go out and make some. > * Sorry, I don't date outside my species. > * No radio - Already stolen. > * Tell me to 'stuff it' - I'm a taxidermist. > * IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got. > * A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. > * Reality? Is that where the pizza delivery guy comes from? > * How can I miss you if you won't go away? > * Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. > > > ______________________________________________________________________ > To unsubscribe, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > Start Your Own FREE Email List at http://www.listbot.com/links/joinlb > =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * To unsubscribe from this list, send e-mail to [EMAIL PROTECTED] without subject and with message body "unsubscribe jokes [EMAIL PROTECTED]" (without quotes) * Mails to this list should be sent to [EMAIL PROTECTED] * If you experience any problems contact [EMAIL PROTECTED] * Archives available at [EMAIL PROTECTED] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
