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Rossum J.C.M. (17-4-00
14:47):
>> The European Commission has just announced an agreement that English >> will be the official language of the EU - rather than German (the other >> possibility). As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government >> conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement, and has >> accepted a 5-year phase-in of new rules which would apply to the language >> and reclassify it as EuroEnglish. >> The agreed plan is as follows: >> In year 1, the soft 'c' would be replaced by 's'. Sertainly, this will >> make the >> sivil servants jump with joy. >> The hard 'c' will be replaced by 'k'. >> This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan now have one less letter. >> There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when >> the troublesome 'ph' is replaced by 'f'. >> This will reduse 'fotograf' by 20%. >> In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted >> to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. >> Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have >> always ben a deterent >> to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent >> 'e's >> in the language is disgrasful and they should eliminat them. >> By year 4, peopl wil be reseptiv to lingwistik korektions such as >> replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v' (saving mor keyboard spas). >> During ze fifz year, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining >> 'ou' and similar changes vud of kors be applid to ozer kombinations of >> leters. >> >> After zis fifz year, ve vil hav a reli sensibil riten styl. Zer vil be no >> mor >> trubls or difikultis and evrirun vil find it ezi to understand ech >> ozer.... >> >> ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!! VE VIL AL SPIK LIK GERMANS !! >> Kip smiling! >> >> >> |
