[JOKES] Iztok i Zapad

[Ira]

The Haiku Error Messages Sony has announced its own computer operating system now available on its hot new portable PC called the Vaio. Instead of producing the cryptic error messages characteristic of Microsoft's Windows 95, 3.1, and DOS operating systems, Sony's chairman Asai Tawara said : "We intend to capture the high ground by putting a human, Japanese face on what has been until now - an operating system that reflects Western cultural hegemony. For example, we have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with our own Japanese haiku poetry." The chairman went on to give examples of Sony's new error messages: - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - A file that big? It might be very useful. But now it is gone. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - The Web site you seek cannot be located but endless others exist - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Chaos reigns within. Reflect, repent, and reboot. Order shall return. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ABORTED effort: Close all that you have. You ask way too much. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - First snow, then silence. This thousand dollar screen dies so beautifully. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - With searching comes loss and the presence of absence: "My Novel" not found. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - The Tao that is seen Is not the true Tao, until You bring fresh toner. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Windows NT crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death. No one hears your screams. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Stay the patient course Of little worth is your ire The network is down - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - A crash reduces your expensive computer to a simple stone. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Yesterday it worked Today it is not working Windows is like that - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Three things are certain: Death, taxes, and lost data. Guess which has occurred. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - You step in the stream, but the water has moved on. This page is not here. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Out of memory. We wish to hold the whole sky, But we never will. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Having been erased, The document you're seeking Must now be retyped. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Rather than a beep Or a rude error message, These words: "File not found." - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Serious error. All shortcuts have disappeared. Screen. Mind. Both are blank... - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - To err is human. Forgive-you-not has blossomed. Backup not found. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - "Mind Over Matter"? Try to recover the mind - disk is gone for good. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Think and ask yourself about God and the Password. Both needed to log on. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -