Chris Marshall wrote:
Chris-there is not a 'gay culture'. Oh yes, there is the club scene, and the 'queer as folk' type thing but that is NOT the whole gay thing. There are other ways to meet gay men. Admittedly, one has to look them out-clubs, book groups etc.On Saturday, Jan 25, 2003, at 10:41 Europe/London, colin wrote:Being gay, depsite these so called liberal times, is still a difficult life. who would choose it?(not that I would change it either). We are still the one minority it is okay for all the others to dump on and it is sanctioned by religion and state. We provide a valuable service for all those sad people that need someone to hate or feel superior to.
It's not just that, but the whole gay culture thing is, in itself,
fundamentally screwed up as far as I'm concerned.
There are PLENTY of gay men who want love and committment and to whom looks are not the number one priority.
The thing about the gay scene-it is populated by so many people who have a low self image, where physical beauty and sex mask that feeling and the longing for real love. It becomes an addiction at least whilst one can still pass as young and beautiful!
Apart formt hat, society makes it very very difficult for gay men to meet and to stay together. I cannot imagine the difficulty there might have been for John and I if I had a career path of my own. How would we have managed that?
What you are looking for IS out there. If you have it to give, there will be someone who wants it. As you know, Johna nd I have been together almost 22 years now. Niether of us liked the 'scene' and in fact didn't bother with it after a while. Yet we still met.
Whilst in a way it is good that gay people get such exposure now thu tv etc it is very sad, and I think not good, that all that gets portrayed is the 'queer as folk ' club scene and one night stands and fickle relationships. Life for many gay people is not like that. Most gay people want just what you want. I ahve yet to see a 'normal' gay couple portrayed on film or tv or anywhere really.
But you are right, there is a gay scene that is flawed, that revolves around sex and drugs and music. Just like it does for many str8 people too. But it isn;t all like that. you have to search in different ways. The problem is NOT that there is something wrong with you. to me, unless one is really lucky, looking for love and committment in a sex and drugs dominated scene is liking trying to find water in the Sahara.
love
colin
