I don't believe there is any inner circle and have never felt a part of one. And for the most part, I don't think anyone is looked down upon. Bob M. and Mags in particular have always been very welcoming to new people.
The thing is, you don't just become part of a close knit group of people over night. When I first joined this list I didn't feel so close to so many people. In fact, the very first time I posted I was attacked immediately by someone who shall remain nameless. Other times over the past four years I have drifted away but I always return. Even at Pazfest, on Saturday night at Michael's house, I felt really overwhelmed and had a really difficult time that night though most people are probably not aware of that. But I've stuck it out and now can't imagine not being a member of this group. The biggest project I've ever done in my life is completely intertwined with this group. It's never easy to become more deeply involved in any kind of a relationship and it shouldn't be. It can be very difficult at times and occasionally you may just want to throw the towel in. But ultimately, if you stick it out, than you will find the sense of belonging that you are seeking. And the other thing is, not everyone wants a close relationship with this list. Some people may just want to check their mail periodically and remain anonymous. And that is fine. Some people may simply not be able to come to Jonifest, in spite of a scholarship fund...maybe its just not possible and that's okay too. I think that these different groups of people are simply going to have to coexist together. And sometimes people may feel left out if they don't have that sense of familiarity that many do. I don't think that anyone who has been to jonifest is trying to snub any new people or make them feel that they don't matter. I can see how it might be construed that way but knowing the people I do, I just don't think that is the case. If you really want to get to know some of these people better then make that extra effort. Is it easy? No...But then there are very few things in life that are very easy. In many ways, to pull this cd project together, I've felt at times that I've had to walk through the nine planes of hell. But somehow I manage to keep going. Victor in Decatur > I have felt at times that I do not belong to that "inner circle" of elders on the list who have met in person, gone to Joni Fests and often meet up for Joni-related celebrations. I sometimes feel as if the people who have known Joni for longer sort of look down on new joiners - "Oh, what does HE know, he's just a kid. How could HE possibly understand?" Opinions are often discounted (not just my own) or outright ridiculed because of who the list member is or is not. This is not productive or particularly kind. --- Victor Johnson --- [EMAIL PROTECTED] Visit http://www.cdbaby.com/victorjohnson Look for the new album "Parsonage Lane" in March 2003 Produced by Chris Rosser at Hollow Reed Studios
