Andrew wrote: "I have felt at times that I do not belong to that "inner circle" of elders on the list who have met in person, gone to Joni Fests and often meet up for Joni-related celebrations. I sometimes feel as if the people who have known Joni for longer sort of look down on new joiners - "Oh, what does HE know, he's just a kid. How could HE possibly understand?"
I felt the same way when I first joined eons ago, back in 98. I spent months lurking because of that, afraid to post. Once I started posting however it all changed as I felt very welcome. Yeah, some people know each other and are very tight but that to be expected given they have known each other for many years and are indeed close friends. And friends have a bond that shows; how could it not? I have actually met only a few JMDLers as I have never been to a JoniFest. But I don't think anyone is excluded or looked down on - as I said, I know the feeling, but once I entered in, that disappeared. And I feel very close to people whom I have never met, or just met once, because the JMDL is that type of place. I think everyone gets welcomed and what we do after that is up to the poster. If a person wants to make friends here, it is very easy to do, and it goes both ways. No one to my knowledge has their opinion looked down on because they are new or young. If that has happened, I am very sorry that it has felt that way. But no one is going to agree with someone because they are young or new. However, I think young posters are very intriguing because they come to Joni from a different place than a lot of us old people, and that is always fascinating how that happened. Andrew also opined: Opinions are often discounted (not just my own) or outright ridiculed because of who the list member is or is not. This is not productive or particularly kind. my response: I do not feel that that happens. I may have missed something or been insensitive. But who a person is, or is not, is not a factor that I have seen. Sometimes an opinion is not agreed by some with regardless of who posts it. No one can afford to be too sensitive. One of my first posts I remember compeltely missing the point of a Joni lyric (I quoted a part to mean one thing and totally failed to read the next line of the lyric... opps...) and that got pointed out to me - but as someone said, life is for learning. If a new poster feels ridiculed, I have missed that and I hope to hell it has not happened. Sometimes between long time JMDLers, what may appear to be very direct is really the frank exchange of good friends. The reason that I am repsonding to this is because I identify with the feelings of wow, this is some group that is too tight, I can never enter in - it took me a long time to figure out all the HOSLs and NRHs and everything - I didn't have all the albums then and wasn't used to talking in that shortheand - it seemed so closed - but once I entered, I found the reality different. But agreed very much that it can all appear very intimidating. I have found that in several of the other internet communities in which I dwell as well. The only thing that I can suggest is enter in freely and it all happens. Thanks for sharing, thank you very much. Vince
