Thanks for this Steve. For those who can't find the story:
The reunion, from both sides now
Life hasn't been easy since Joni Mitchell found the
daughter she gave up 32 years ago
Tom Arnold
National Post
Barely four years ago, legendary folk singer Joni Mitchell
had a
tearful reunion with her only daughter, Kilauren Gibb, whom
she had
given up for adoption 32 years earlier. Pictures of a
smiling birth
mother and natural daughter, holding hands and hugging,
were seen
in magazines and newspapers around the world.
Ms. Mitchell, winner of five Grammys and widely regarded as
one of
the finest singer-songwriters of her generation, gave up
Ms. Gibb
when she was a 20-year-old struggling arts student.
"I've had pain and joy in my life but nothing like this,"
Ms. Mitchell
said at the time of the reunion. "It's an unparalleled
emotional
feeling."
Added Kilauren: "It was wonderful. It was a great relief to
me in
every way. It made me feel whole. It made me feel complete.
I don't have any expectations. I
didn't come into this thing with expectations. I just
wanted to find my mom."
But life since then hasn't been easy.
In January, 2000, Ms. Mitchell allegedly slapped Ms. Gibb
during a quarrel in which police were
called to the singer's US$9-million Bel Air villa in Los
Angeles. Ms. Gibb, who called for help, refused
to press charges but wanted the alleged assault reported. A
Los Angeles Police Department report
states officers were there to investigate a "battery."
The never-reported incident is part of records filed in a
custody dispute involving Ms. Gibb and her
former boyfriend, Edward Barrington. Ms. Mitchell is
referred to in several documents but only as a
"well known" birth mother.
According to court documents, Ms. Gibb had allegedly become
"increasingly hostile" to her birth
mother over time. Mr. Barrington is accused of apparently
selling photos of the reunion to the
tabloids and only seeking custody of his 20-month-old
daughter to remain connected to Ms. Mitchell.
It is not known whether Ms. Mitchell will be in Toronto
this weekend to attend the Juno awards,
where she is nominated for best vocal jazz album, or
whether she will see her 36-year-old daughter,
who resides in a downtown condominium and is unemployed.
Little has been known about Ms. Gibb since the reunion. But
documents filed in court portray her as
part of a tumultuous, relationship with Mr. Barrington that
has crumbled into a nasty custody battle
over her only daughter.
---
Joni Mitchell was born as Roberta Joan Anderson in Fort
MacLeod, Alta., and raised in Saskatoon.
While studying art at Southern Alberta Institute of
Technology in Calgary, she met her daughter's
father, photographer Brad MacMath. She became pregnant in
1964 and moved to Toronto.
Kilauren Gibb was born as Kelly Dale in February, 1965. Ms.
Mitchell married folk singer Chuck
Mitchell for a time, but when it did not work out she put
her daughter up for adoption.
The baby girl was adopted by David and Ida Gibb, and
renamed Kilauren. Residing in the Toronto
suburb of Don Mills, Kilauren grew up attending private
schools and dining in country clubs.
Ms. Gibb began a career in modelling as a teenager and was
featured on the cover of Chatelaine
magazine in November, 1983. She also modelled in Paris and
New York. Between gigs, she took
courses at Harvard University in Boston as well as at the
University of Toronto.
Her friendship with Edward Barrington dates back to 1979,
when they were both teenagers. They
met because their parents held memberships at the Donalda
Club, a private golf and tennis club.
However, Ms. Gibb married Paul Kohler, a Toronto-based
talent agent, in 1992 after a two-year
courtship. The couple had a boy a year later but separated
in mid-1995. It was then that Mr.
Barrington re-entered her life.
Mr. Barrington claims they were together more than four
years, while Ms. Gibb suggests the pairing
was shorter and "on and off."
In 1996, Ms. Mitchell made a public plea to find her
daughter. By then, Ms. Gibb had been searching
for her mother as well.
It was Ms. Gibb's Internet skills that led her to believe
the Canadian music icon might be her
mother. Finally, she called Ms. Mitchell's manager. The
singer called back and left a message on Ms.
Gibb's answering machine.
"Hi, it's Joni," the message said. "Please call me. I'm
here. I'm overwhelmed."
The pair met in March, 1997, in Los Angeles. Mr. Barrington
was also there.
During her stay at Ms. Mitchell's home, located in one of
L.A.'s most exclusive neighbourhoods, she
met many celebrities, including singer Etta James, and
musicians Herbie Hancock and B.B. King.
Friends noted obvious comparisons: their high cheekbones,
long blond hair and blue eyes.
Ms. Gibb and Mr. Barrington returned to Canada and months
later he proposed marriage. Soon they
moved to Vancouver.
Ms. Gibb became pregnant in September, 1998.
During the pregnancy "her behaviour became even more
unmanageable," Mr. Barrington alleges in
a questionnaire provided to the Office of the Children's
Lawyer, an Ontario agency which protects
the legal rights of children. "Frequent emotional outbursts
and her alienating manner were now the
norm ... I knew she was troubled, and I too felt trapped,"
he writes.
The girl was born in June, 1999.
By Christmas the relationship was strained and Mr.
Barrington was not invited to Ms. Mitchell's L.A.
home for the holidays with the rest of the family.
It was during Ms. Gibb's visit that the LAPD were called to
Ms. Mitchell's home at 1 a.m. on Jan. 3,
2000.
"Officers completed a battery report, although Ms. Gibb
refused any police action," said Jason Lee,
an LAPD spokesman. "Gibb stated she was visiting her
biological mother, Joni Mitchell, from Canada,
but was involved in an argument when Mitchell hit her on
the face. Gibb did not receive any injuries
and there was no witness," he adds.
Detectives closed the case after interviewing Ms. Gibb, who
did not wish to "file charges for
prosecution."
Mr. Barrington said in his questionnaire to the Office of
the Children's Lawyer that he "became
extremely anxious when I learned about the physical
violence that occurred while they were away."
"The months following the Christmas trip, as I had
expected, Kilauren took no responsibility for this
horrendous incident and she was increasingly hostile
towards her biological mother, the children and
me," he writes in the questionnaire, part of a
court-ordered investigation. "She began to drink
heavily ..."
The pair reconciled for a three-week period in July, 2000.
In late August, Ms. Gibb complained to
police she was being harassed.
On Sept. 8, Ms. Gibb applied for sole custody of the
couple's girl to the Ontario Court of Justice
(Family Court) in Toronto. In seven handwritten pages filed
in court, she alleges Mr. Barrington is
mentally unstable, an alcoholic, a drug user and an addict
obsessed with pornography. She alleges
his best friends are criminals and female escorts. And, she
alleges, he abused their daughter.
She also claims he exploits people, charging he secretly
sold photos of her reunion for $6,000 (cash
he claims was given back to Ms. Gibb). He wants custody to
be "connected financially" with Ms.
Mitchell, she further alleges.
None of the alleged incidents was reported to police.
In an affidavit filed in court, Mr. Barrington denounces
the allegations as "lies."
The Children's Aid Society of Toronto was asked by the
presiding judge to investigate the matter. In
a report filed in court, it concluded "there is no evidence
to suggest any immediate child protection
concerns."
Soon after, Mr. Barrington was awarded limited supervised
access to his daughter.
In November, 2000, Mr. Barrington travelled to L.A. and met
with Ms. Mitchell to discuss the dispute.
He asked her to intervene but she apparently has not.
Mr. Barrington also states in the Children's Lawyer
questionnaire that Ms. Gibb "has painted me, to
my complete disgust as an intravenous drug user, a
potential pedophile and she even endeavoured
to question my paternity."
In an affidavit filed in court, he added he has been
clinically treated by a psychiatrist, occasionally
suffers from depression and has been diagnosed with
Attention Deficit Disorder.
The 35-year-old salesman says his life is stable since
finishing university in 1990. He has had four
jobs since, he says, while claiming Ms. Gibb lives in a
condominium owned by her adoptive parents
and "has never worked other than in a video store ..."
In his affidavit he also alleges Ms. Gibb exhibits "angry
and violent behaviours" and she is "using my
daughter as a way of manipulating and controlling me."
He claims she "is incapable of being a responsible parent,"
noting the child was dropped by her
pediatrician after four appointments were missed.
Louise Malenfant, a family advocate with Edmonton-based
Parents Helping Parents, has recently
taken on Mr. Barrington's case.
Ms. Malenfant, who specializes in cases of false
allegations of child abuse, has asked the Ontario
Judicial Council to consider removing Madame Justice Penny
Jones, who is overseeing the custody
case, alleging judicial misconduct and incompetence.
The group also wants the Children's Lawyer office to
recommend a full clinical assessment of the
case.
"Allegations of this nature that do not raise the concerns
of either the child welfare system or the
police, brings serious question to the credibility of the
accuser, and raises the spectre of deliberate
false allegations being made to eliminate the paternal
family of a child," Ms. Malenfant states in a
letter to the office.
The group also intends to present Ms. Gibb's Sept. 8
handwritten custody application to police and
ask for an investigation into possible perjury and
obstruction of justice.
