In a message dated 3/4/2001 8:02:06 AM Eastern Standard Time,
[EMAIL PROTECTED] writes:
<< The confusion lies within the fact that you know deep inside yourself, in
the
hour of darkness and alone, that you are a mother but not. How do you
reconcile
that? >>
This is an area that I'm very very interested in. As an adoptive mother, I
have tried to understand the feelings and needs of all the people involved in
my kids' adoptions. But I also think that each situation is different when it
comes to reunion. Who knows what happened between Joni and Kilauren? Were one
or both hoping or damanding for more than the other could give? Did they
think through about all the possibilities that a reunion could have created?
Though I agree with Roberto that this is best left up to those involved to
make judgements, it is still a fascinating topic for further discussion if
anyone is interested.
My daughter requested a reunion when she was 14. After months of
(psychological) preparatation, I know now that it was the very best thing for
all of us. It wasn't easy for me- I don't know how I was able to handle
seeing my precious "baby" hugging and kissing her other mother- but in my
heart, I knew I did the right thing.
Now she, her birthmom and extended family can rest assured that
relinquishment *was* the right decision 15 years ago, as difficult as that
decision was.
And for my daughter, there no longer is that lurking mystery of who she is
and where she came from, nagging away at her.
One of the most touching things that happened at that reunion was recieving a
little plaque from my daughter's birthmom, which sits here on my desk:
"Of all the Gifts like has to offer, Loving Parents is the greatest of them
all".
This woman made the most difficult of decisions she'll ever probably
encounter, and I will always be in awe of her bravery and love for her/our
child.
Mags, thanks for sharing that letter. I know that no bio mom ever gives up
the memory, the hopes and dreams, she carries for that baby.
Terry
