Scott, Kakki and all...
What IS going on here?
Some posters got a little nasty with their words. It might have been
offensive, but we all have said offensive things now and again. For crying
out loud, even Joni herself has said offensive things -- and she has even
been known to call people names. Nonperfect people who aren't emotionally
dead sometimes get carried away and say some mean things.
Earlier I posted a comment about the rude exchange -- basically that I think
people should be free to say whatever they want on this list, or anywhere.
Surely, if they offend people, they will hear about it soon enough.
As soon as I wrote that, I received a private e-mail from Kakki, which I
would not describe as polite. I responded that I didn't understand where
she was coming from -- I hadn't called anybody names.
Now Scott tells us that she has left the list with "customary grace."
Actually, Scott, your long post sounds like a "customary guilt trip."
I'm sorry if Kakki feels compelled to leave because she didn't like the
exchange between two people on the list. I didn't care for the exchange
myself, but I have a Delete key on my computer.
If Kakki was upset with the exchange, she could have expressed her concerns
to them directly. She certainly didn't hesitate expressing her disapproval
of my fairly benign reaction to the exchange.
I find the majority of posts on this list entertaining and informative. I
have enjoyed reading many of Kakki's posts.
And I certainly would hope that she also realizes that the camaraderie and
news available on this list has too much value to throw away, just because
she sees an occasional comment she doesn't like. It's not a perfect world
out there. But I have found this list to be a GOOD thing. And the people
on the list are GOOD people.
I don't think anybody on this list has ever "skewered" Kakki or anyone else.
In fact, from my experience, virtually everyone on the list holds her and
her opinions in most high regard.
You imply that she's leaving the list because it's not "a place to be proud
of." Scott, that's not the truth and I reject it thoroughly.
Occasionally things go wrong between people. And, occasionally we are going
to read things we don't like on the list.
If Kakki feels that occasional disputes or e-mailed offenses are too
overwhelming to remain a part of the list, many people will miss her. If
her e-mails have all been flawlessly polite and sensitive and her dedication
to the list has been as pure as what Scott claims, then we have lost a vital
member of the community.
But, it is Kakki's decision to lose the community, not the community's
decision to lose Kakki!
Hope to hear from you again soon Kakki,
Harper Lou
----- Original Message -----
From: "Scott Price" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Cc: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Sent: Saturday, March 24, 2001 8:44 PM
Subject: For The Roses
> It starts with a web search. "Joni Mitchell." You sift through the hits
and
> before long find the Mecca. Joni-Mitchell-dot-com and JMDL-dot-com. You
> have followed her career, every step and every song, for decades. It's a
> glorious discovery...there are others out there who truly appreciate her
> art. Kindred spirits who "get her."
>
> You lurk for a while and one day take the plunge. You wonder how you will
> be received after that first post, and check your e-mail constantly for a
> while, hoping that response(s) will be positive.
>
> A few exchanges begin, on-list and off. Friendships are born. Siquomb is
> spoken. Life is good!
>
> You develop relationships. With the list, with individual listers.
Checking
> for "new mail" becomes fun and important to you. You open up more, and in
> so doing, find that not everyone is nice. You learn that this "community"
> has its share of dysfunction, and if you're a contributor to the list,
> eventually you're going to take some heat.
>
> But your love of Joni's craft is unwavering and you are by nature an open
> and generous person. You couldn't change these personality traits even if
> you wanted. You could lurk, or you could toss it in, but you have so much
> to give, so you stay. And you become a very visible and revered member of
> the community.
>
> Years pass. Concerts, fests large and small, tapings, exhibits. Fate is
> kind. You share the experiences. By default you become a ringleader. And
> you're damn good at it. Serendipity puts you in the right places at the
> right times, and you warmly and skillfully report back to the community so
> that we who are interested may live vicariously through your "real life"
> Joni encounters.
>
> Despite all your contributions, skirmishes develop. Unwarranted personal
> attacks lead to despair. You put so much into the group and would go
> forever without so much as a "thank you" but it's worse than that...a lack
> of acknowledgement would be OK, but the skewering...for what reason? What
> did you do to deserve this?
>
> I don't blame you for leaving. I've gone away before myself a time or two.
> But each time I return it's with a more jaded view. Nobody would lament
> that for me, but for you...ahh...you're different. You represented so
much.
> You were the ideal JMDLer. And now you're gone, perhaps never to return.
>
> It is with much sadness that I announce to the list that Kakki has left
> this "community." She departed with her customary grace and without
> fanfare. She's not pining, she's not sulking, and she doesn't know I'm
> writing this. In fact she is spending the weekend taking care of her
> elderly father. But she's withdrawn from the JMDL, and I thought the list
> should know that. I want you to consider, prior to the next time you
> exercise your right to "free speech" and post away with insulting and
> insensitive words, that if we really want this discussion group to be a
> place we're proud of, we've got to consider how our posts can impact
> others. Please use temperance the next time you put a name or a label on
> someone. That isn't preaching, BTW...it's a plea.
>
> What does a particular Joni song or album mean to you? A question for the
> ages. Tonight I'll put on her favorite, "For The Roses." I'll listen to
the
> music and I'll think of what we've lost. I'll hope that her memories of
> time spent here will be of the good times, not the bad. I'll remember how
> much she has enriched my own experience, and give thanks. A martini glass
> will be raised, the ice cold elixir savored, with one simple thought:
baby,
> this one's for you.
>
> Scott
