Great post, Mags.
It will come as no surprise to anyone who's been on the List for a while
that I've been thinking about 'sorrow' lately.
("sad smile, her apology.
Sad eyes, reaching for the door.
This is my opening farewell."
Ooops. Wrong poet.)
When Karen left I hit that ole debilitating tailspin. It almost killed
me. Mercifully, like the aftermath of a nuclear strike, the intense
heat and radiation has subsided into your garden variety dust and rubble
in the form of "sorrow". What I feel on a daily basis is what you
alluded to Mags. Anyway, lately, Shawn Colvin has been resonating in my
head, like her buzzing, nasal voice. Her solo piano and voice repeating
this (paraphrased)
"<<< I have this funny ache
an' it's burning in my chest
an' it spreads just like a fire inside my body......
is it something God left out?
.... in my spirit?
or my flesh?
Would I be saved if I were brave and had a baby?
It was <quickly>
never clear what would come next
but that's the risk
and that's the test.
<moderately>
And no one ever talks about
when one might *stop and need to rest*
Or how long you sit alone before you stop looking back
(like you're waiting for Godot)
before you pick your sorry ass up off the floor and
....... <jump to falsetto>
....... go?" <<<<<<<<<<<
Shawn Colvin
from "If I Were Brave" from her wonderful and highly recommended
"A Few Small Repairs"
see more at www.shawncolvin.com , naturally! But when reading lyrics,
remember the immortal words of my fellow native of New York State's Long
Island who observed,
"There's a new band in town
but ya can't
get the sound
from a story in a magazine."
jeees, she does a nice job on that quote. Beside the fact that
"next/risk/test" is a masterful triplet, she captures that hinge point
when you've been down a long, long, long time, when you've perseverated
enough, when you've run out of self pity. There's a weird little
release moment when one realizes, 'yeah, my life is sad. very sad....
but I better do the _laundry_ before it's too late today." :) It's a
blessing of a parasite- the weekly routine.
Lama, who's been working 57 hours/week for 5 months. (Before Marcel
asks why anyone would do such a thing, I'll answer: one word, Marcel:
poverty)
P.S. As jmdler Bryan Thomas observed on "Radio Plastic Jennifer",
'if the shit ain't killed us
we must be stronger.'
Nice job Bryan. (He's not wholly *convinced* you understand- he's
taking it on *faith* that "we" are stronger.)
P.P.S.S.
I love to write for you guys.
P.P.P.S.S.S.
As a wise sage (ME!) used to say daily,
"Tolerance, tolerance, tolerance"
