Okay, this has nothing to do with small children viewing PG movies. It's all
about me. That's right, it's all about me me me. I have a confession to
make to all my friends in JMDL-land. There have been so many good movies
made in the past twenty-something years. So why did I at age 45 decide to
make my first movie theater experience since "Blazing Saddles" go to
"POTA-2001"? (I did that just to make Catherine pissed, since I know she
hates acronyms LOL, oops there's another one)
I left work early today to see "Planet of the Apes-2001", since a friend had
begged me to go. I had been trying to break a record for being the first
non-Amish person who had not seen a movie in an actual theater in several
years. ( I might be wrong about the Amish part - sorry) I see plenty of
movies, but it's always been in the comfort of my own home. I must say,
things have REALLY changed!!!
We stepped up to the window at the multi-multi-multi-plex theater, and I took
out my $2.50 to pay the attendant. She said "We don't except down payments."
I couldn't believe that prices were $7.50 !!!!! I couldn't even use my old
student I.D. card. I wanted to watch the movie, not *buy* it!
So my friend tells me that theaters have changed. They have "stadium"
seating. I thought, oh great, that's all I need is to sit in high school
bleachers without something to support my back. Worse yet, I thought I might
be standing at a fence at some out-of-hand world soccer game waiting to be
trampled on. To my surprise, the seats were EXTREMELY comfortable, and I
learned what they meant by stadium seating. Still, I looked frantically for
the smoking section. What??? They don't have smoking sections anymore??? Oh
well, I just ate one to satisfy my addiction.
We got comfortable in our seats as the movie began. The surround sound and
picture quality of the movie was fantastic. I couldn't believe what I was
missing..........until 20 minutes into the movie. Yes, a family of 5 were
sitting right behind us with the oldest child being around 12. The problem
was the youngest child, about 2yrs old started crying. I asked my friend,
"Why don't they take him to the *cry room*?" My friend just laughed and said
they haven't had cry rooms in 30 years.
It was time for a break. I had to pee and get something to snack on. I
looked for the remote control to pause. No fricking remote!!!! $7.50 and no
remote!!!! I went to the "disco-like-lobby", and there were no jujubees,
goobers, raisonettes, or good-n-plenty's. There was nothing at the snack bar
that appealed to me. I begged the snack counter girl to make me a
Cosmopolitan or something. NO GO!!! I guess that's why they don't play the
old cartoon in the theater "Let's all go to the lobby, let's all go to the
lobby, to get ourselves a treat."
So I survived the movies. The movie was okay, and the makeup on "POTA-2001"
were very good. Still, it just wasn't the same as the original with the then
burly Charlton Heston in his loin cloth saying "DAMN YOU!!!!"
I guess I'll have to wait for "Blazing Saddles- 2025" to come out next :~)
Jimmy
