Ok, you can only bait me for so long with a subject title like that.
You want the meaning of life?  Here it is.  All I ask is that you read
it all., read it like poetry, aloud is best.  And this is in no way a
Christo-centric reading.  It has just a few gender specific words that
need be addressed.  And correcting those in our minds as we read, it is
then as close to the truth that I think any writing in human languages
can attain.

(Ecclesiastes 1) The words of the Teacher, the son of David, king in
Jerusalem. 2 Vanity of vanities, says the Teacher, vanity of
vanities! All is vanity. 3 What do people gain from all the toil at
which they toil under the sun? 4 A generation goes, and a generation
comes, but the earth remains forever. 5 The sun rises and the sun goes
down, and hurries to the place where it rises. 6 The wind
blows to the south, and goes around to the north; round and round goes
the wind, and on its circuits the wind returns. 7 All streams
run to the sea, but the sea is not full; to the place where the streams
flow, there they continue to flow. 8 All things are wearisome;
more than one can express; the eye is not satisfied with seeing, or the
ear filled with hearing. 9 What has been is what will be, and
what has been done is what will be done; there is nothing new under the
sun. 10 Is there a thing of which it is said, "See, this is new"?
It has already been, in the ages before us. 11 The people of long ago
are not remembered, nor will there be any remembrance of
people yet to come by those who come after them. 12 I, the Teacher, when
king over Israel in Jerusalem, 13 applied my mind to seek
and to search out by wisdom all that is done under heaven; it is an
unhappy business that God has given to human beings to be busy
with. 14 I saw all the deeds that are done under the sun; and see, all
is vanity and a chasing after wind. 15 What is crooked cannot be
made straight, and what is lacking cannot be counted. 16 I said to
myself, "I have acquired great wisdom, surpassing all who were
over Jerusalem before me; and my mind has had great experience of wisdom
and knowledge." 17 And I applied my mind to know
wisdom and to know madness and folly. I perceived that this also is but
a chasing after wind. 18 For in much wisdom is much
vexation, and those who increase knowledge increase sorrow.

(Ecclesiastes 2) I said to myself, "Come now, I will make a test of
pleasure; enjoy yourself." But again, this also was vanity. 2 I said of
laughter, "It is mad," and of pleasure, "What use is it?" 3 I searched
with my mind how to cheer my body with wine--my mind still
guiding me with wisdom--and how to lay hold on folly, until I might see
what was good for mortals to do under heaven during the
few days of their life. 4 I made great works; I built houses and planted
vineyards for myself; 5 I made myself gardens and parks, and
planted in them all kinds of fruit trees. 6 I made myself pools from
which to water the forest of growing trees. 7 I bought male and
female slaves, and had slaves who were born in my house; I also had
great possessions of herds and flocks, more than any who had
been before me in Jerusalem. 8 I also gathered for myself silver and
gold and the treasure of kings and of the provinces; I got singers,
both men and women, and delights of the flesh, and many concubines. 9 So
I became great and surpassed all who were before me in
Jerusalem; also my wisdom remained with me. 10 Whatever my eyes desired
I did not keep from them; I kept my heart from no
pleasure, for my heart found pleasure in all my toil, and this was my
reward for all my toil. 11 Then I considered all that my hands
had done and the toil I had spent in doing it, and again, all was vanity
and a chasing after wind, and there was nothing to be gained
under the sun. 12 So I turned to consider wisdom and madness and folly;
for what can the one do who comes after the king? Only
what has already been done. 13 Then I saw that wisdom excels folly as
light excels darkness. 14 The wise have eyes in their head, but
fools walk in darkness. Yet I perceived that the same fate befalls all
of them. 15 Then I said to myself, "What happens to the fool will
happen to me also; why then have I been so very wise?" And I said to
myself that this also is vanity. 16 For there is no enduring
remembrance of the wise or of fools, seeing that in the days to come all
will have been long forgotten. How can the wise die just like
fools? 17 So I hated life, because what is done under the sun was
grievous to me; for all is vanity and a chasing after wind. 18 I hated
all my toil in which I had toiled under the sun, seeing that I must
leave it to those who come after me 19 --and who knows whether
they will be wise or foolish? Yet they will be master of all for which I
toiled and used my wisdom under the sun. This also is vanity. 20
So I turned and gave my heart up to despair concerning all the toil of
my labors under the sun, 21 because sometimes one who has
toiled with wisdom and knowledge and skill must leave all to be enjoyed
by another who did not toil for it. This also is vanity and a
great evil. 22 What do mortals get from all the toil and strain with
which they toil under the sun? 23 For all their days are full of pain,
and their work is a vexation; even at night their minds do not rest.
This also is vanity. 24 There is nothing better for mortals than to
eat and drink, and find enjoyment in their toil. This also, I saw, is
from the hand of God; 25 for apart from him who can eat or who
can have enjoyment? 26 For to the one who pleases him God gives wisdom
and knowledge and joy; but to the sinner he gives the
work of gathering and heaping, only to give to one who pleases God. This
also is vanity and a chasing after wind.

(Ecclesiastes 3) For everything there is a season, and a time for every
matter under heaven: 2 a time to be born, and a time to die; a
time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; 3 a time to kill,
and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to
dance; 5 a time to throw away stones, and a time to gather
stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from
embracing; 6 a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a
time to throw away; 7 a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep
silence, and a time to speak; 8 a time to love, and a time to
hate; a time for war, and a time for peace. 9 What gain have the workers
from their toil? 10 I have seen the business that God has
given to everyone to be busy with. 11 He has made everything suitable
for its time; moreover he has put a sense of past and future
into their minds, yet they cannot find out what God has done from the
beginning to the end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for
them than to be happy and enjoy themselves as long as they live; 13
moreover, it is God's gift that all should eat and drink and take
pleasure in all their toil. 14 I know that whatever God does endures
forever; nothing can be added to it, nor anything taken from it;
God has done this, so that all should stand in awe before him. 15 That
which is, already has been; that which is to be, already is; and
God seeks out what has gone by. 16 Moreover I saw under the sun that in
the place of justice, wickedness was there, and in the place
of righteousness, wickedness was there as well. 17 I said in my heart,
God will judge the righteous and the wicked, for he has
appointed a time for every matter, and for every work. 18 I said in my
heart with regard to human beings that God is testing them to
show that they are but animals. 19 For the fate of humans and the fate
of animals is the same; as one dies, so dies the other. They all
have the same breath, and humans have no advantage over the animals; for
all is vanity. 20 All go to one place; all are from the dust,
and all turn to dust again. 21 Who knows whether the human spirit goes
upward and the spirit of animals goes downward to the
earth? 22 So I saw that there is nothing better than that all should
enjoy their work, for that is their lot; who can bring them to see
what will be after them?

(Ecclesiastes 4) Again I saw all the oppressions that are practiced
under the sun. Look, the tears of the oppressed--with no one to
comfort them! On the side of their oppressors there was power--with no
one to comfort them. 2 And I thought the dead, who have
already died, more fortunate than the living, who are still alive; 3 but
better than both is the one who has not yet been, and has not
seen the evil deeds that are done under the sun. 4 Then I saw that all
toil and all skill in work come from one person's envy of
another. This also is vanity and a chasing after wind. 5 Fools fold
their hands and consume their own flesh. 6 Better is a handful with
quiet than two handfuls with toil, and a chasing after wind. 7 Again, I
saw vanity under the sun: 8 the case of solitary individuals,
without sons or brothers; yet there is no end to all their toil, and
their eyes are never satisfied with riches. "For whom am I toiling,"
they ask, "and depriving myself of pleasure?" This also is vanity and an
unhappy business. 9 Two are better than one, because they
have a good reward for their toil. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up
the other; but woe to one who is alone and falls and does not have
another to help. 11 Again, if two lie together, they keep warm; but how
can one keep warm alone? 12 And though one might prevail
against another, two will withstand one. A threefold cord is not quickly
broken. 13 Better is a poor but wise youth than an old but
foolish king, who will no longer take advice. 14 One can indeed come out
of prison to reign, even though born poor in the kingdom.
15 I saw all the living who, moving about under the sun, follow that
youth who replaced the king; 16 there was no end to all those
people whom he led. Yet those who come later will not rejoice in him.
Surely this also is vanity and a chasing after wind.

(Ecclesiastes 5) Guard your steps when you go to the house of God; to
draw near to listen is better than the sacrifice offered by fools;
for they do not know how to keep from doing evil. 2 Never be rash with
your mouth, nor let your heart be quick to utter a word
before God, for God is in heaven, and you upon earth; therefore let your
words be few. 3 For dreams come with many cares, and a
fool's voice with many words. 4 When you make a vow to God, do not delay
fulfilling it; for he has no pleasure in fools. Fulfill what
you vow. 5 It is better that you should not vow than that you should vow
and not fulfill it. 6 Do not let your mouth lead you into sin,
and do not say before the messenger that it was a mistake; why should
God be angry at your words, and destroy the work of your
hands? 7 With many dreams come vanities and a multitude of words; but
fear God. 8 If you see in a province the oppression of the
poor and the violation of justice and right, do not be amazed at the
matter; for the high official is watched by a higher, and there are
yet higher ones over them. 9 But all things considered, this is an
advantage for a land: a king for a plowed field. 10 The lover of
money will not be satisfied with money; nor the lover of wealth, with
gain. This also is vanity. 11 When goods increase, those who eat
them increase; and what gain has their owner but to see them with his
eyes? 12 Sweet is the sleep of laborers, whether they eat little
or much; but the surfeit of the rich will not let them sleep. 13 There
is a grievous ill that I have seen under the sun: riches were kept
by their owners to their hurt, 14 and those riches were lost in a bad
venture; though they are parents of children, they have nothing in
their hands. 15 As they came from their mother's womb, so they shall go
again, naked as they came; they shall take nothing for their
toil, which they may carry away with their hands. 16 This also is a
grievous ill: just as they came, so shall they go; and what gain do
they have from toiling for the wind? 17 Besides, all their days they eat
in darkness, in much vexation and sickness and resentment. 18
This is what I have seen to be good: it is fitting to eat and drink and
find enjoyment in all the toil with which one toils under the sun
the few days of the life God gives us; for this is our lot. 19 Likewise
all to whom God gives wealth and possessions and whom he
enables to enjoy them, and to accept their lot and find enjoyment in
their toil--this is the gift of God. 20 For they will scarcely brood
over the days of their lives, because God keeps them occupied with the
joy of their hearts.

(Ecclesiastes 6) There is an evil that I have seen under the sun, and it
lies heavy upon humankind: 2 those to whom God gives wealth,
possessions, and honor, so that they lack nothing of all that they
desire, yet God does not enable them to enjoy these things, but a
stranger enjoys them. This is vanity; it is a grievous ill. 3 A man may
beget a hundred children, and live many years; but however
many are the days of his years, if he does not enjoy life's good things,
or has no burial, I say that a stillborn child is better off than he.
4 For it comes into vanity and goes into darkness, and in darkness its
name is covered; 5 moreover it has not seen the sun or known
anything; yet it finds rest rather than he. 6 Even though he should live
a thousand years twice over, yet enjoy no good--do not all go
to one place? 7 All human toil is for the mouth, yet the appetite is not
satisfied. 8 For what advantage have the wise over fools? And
what do the poor have who know how to conduct themselves before the
living? 9 Better is the sight of the eyes than the wandering
of desire; this also is vanity and a chasing after wind. 10 Whatever has
come to be has already been named, and it is known what
human beings are, and that they are not able to dispute with those who
are stronger. 11 The more words, the more vanity, so how is
one the better? 12 For who knows what is good for mortals while they
live the few days of their vain life, which they pass like a
shadow? For who can tell them what will be after them under the sun?

(Ecclesiastes 7) A good name is better than precious ointment, and the
day of death, than the day of birth. 2 It is better to go to the
house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting; for this is the
end of everyone, and the living will lay it to heart. 3 Sorrow is
better than laughter, for by sadness of countenance the heart is made
glad. 4 The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning; but
the heart of fools is in the house of mirth. 5 It is better to hear the
rebuke of the wise than to hear the song of fools. 6 For like the
crackling of thorns under a pot, so is the laughter of fools; this also
is vanity. 7 Surely oppression makes the wise foolish, and a bribe
corrupts the heart. 8 Better is the end of a thing than its beginning;
the patient in spirit are better than the proud in spirit. 9 Do not be
quick to anger, for anger lodges in the bosom of fools. 10 Do not say,
"Why were the former days better than these?" For it is not
from wisdom that you ask this. 11 Wisdom is as good as an inheritance,
an advantage to those who see the sun. 12 For the protection
of wisdom is like the protection of money, and the advantage of
knowledge is that wisdom gives life to the one who possesses it. 13
Consider the work of God; who can make straight what he has made
crooked? 14 In the day of prosperity be joyful, and in the day of
adversity consider; God has made the one as well as the other, so that
mortals may not find out anything that will come after them. 15
In my vain life I have seen everything; there are righteous people who
perish in their righteousness, and there are wicked people who
prolong their life in their evildoing. 16 Do not be too righteous, and
do not act too wise; why should you destroy yourself? 17 Do not
be too wicked, and do not be a fool; why should you die before your
time? 18 It is good that you should take hold of the one, without
letting go of the other; for the one who fears God shall succeed with
both. 19 Wisdom gives strength to the wise more than ten rulers
that are in a city. 20 Surely there is no one on earth so righteous as
to do good without ever sinning. 21 Do not give heed to
everything that people say, or you may hear your servant cursing you; 22
your heart knows that many times you have yourself
cursed others. 23 All this I have tested by wisdom; I said, "I will be
wise," but it was far from me. 24 That which is, is far off, and
deep, very deep; who can find it out? 25 I turned my mind to know and to
search out and to seek wisdom and the sum of things, and
to know that wickedness is folly and that foolishness is madness. 26 I
found more bitter than death the woman who is a trap, whose
heart is snares and nets, whose hands are fetters; one who pleases God
escapes her, but the sinner is taken by her. 27 See, this is what
I found, says the Teacher, adding one thing to another to find the sum,
28 which my mind has sought repeatedly, but I have not
found. One man among a thousand I found, but a woman among all these I
have not found. 29 See, this alone I found, that God made
human beings straightforward, but they have devised many schemes.

(Ecclesiastes 8) Who is like the wise man? And who knows the
interpretation of a thing? Wisdom makes one's face shine, and the
hardness of one's countenance is changed. 2 Keep the king's command
because of your sacred oath. 3 Do not be terrified; go from his
presence, do not delay when the matter is unpleasant, for he does
whatever he pleases. 4 For the word of the king is powerful, and
who can say to him, "What are you doing?" 5 Whoever obeys a command will
meet no harm, and the wise mind will know the time
and way. 6 For every matter has its time and way, although the troubles
of mortals lie heavy upon them. 7 Indeed, they do not know
what is to be, for who can tell them how it will be? 8 No one has power
over the wind to restrain the wind, or power over the day of
death; there is no discharge from the battle, nor does wickedness
deliver those who practice it. 9 All this I observed, applying my
mind to all that is done under the sun, while one person exercises
authority over another to the other's hurt. 10 Then I saw the wicked
buried; they used to go in and out of the holy place, and were praised
in the city where they had done such things. This also is vanity.
11 Because sentence against an evil deed is not executed speedily, the
human heart is fully set to do evil. 12 Though sinners do evil a
hundred times and prolong their lives, yet I know that it will be well
with those who fear God, because they stand in fear before him,
13 but it will not be well with the wicked, neither will they prolong
their days like a shadow, because they do not stand in fear before
God. 14 There is a vanity that takes place on earth, that there are
righteous people who are treated according to the conduct of the
wicked, and there are wicked people who are treated according to the
conduct of the righteous. I said that this also is vanity. 15 So I
commend enjoyment, for there is nothing better for people under the sun
than to eat, and drink, and enjoy themselves, for this will go
with them in their toil through the days of life that God gives them
under the sun. 16 When I applied my mind to know wisdom, and
to see the business that is done on earth, how one's eyes see sleep
neither day nor night, 17 then I saw all the work of God, that no
one can find out what is happening under the sun. However much they may
toil in seeking, they will not find it out; even though
those who are wise claim to know, they cannot find it out.

(Ecclesiastes 9) All this I laid to heart, examining it all, how the
righteous and the wise and their deeds are in the hand of God;
whether it is love or hate one does not know. Everything that confronts
them 2 is vanity, since the same fate comes to all, to the
righteous and the wicked, to the good and the evil, to the clean and the
unclean, to those who sacrifice and those who do not sacrifice.
As are the good, so are the sinners; those who swear are like those who
shun an oath. 3 This is an evil in all that happens under the
sun, that the same fate comes to everyone. Moreover, the hearts of all
are full of evil; madness is in their hearts while they live, and
after that they go to the dead. 4 But whoever is joined with all the
living has hope, for a living dog is better than a dead lion. 5 The
living know that they will die, but the dead know nothing; they have no
more reward, and even the memory of them is lost. 6 Their
love and their hate and their envy have already perished; never again
will they have any share in all that happens under the sun. 7 Go,
eat your bread with enjoyment, and drink your wine with a merry heart;
for God has long ago approved what you do. 8 Let your
garments always be white; do not let oil be lacking on your head. 9
Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, all the days of your vain
life that are given you under the sun, because that is your portion in
life and in your toil at which you toil under the sun. 10 Whatever
your hand finds to do, do with your might; for there is no work or
thought or knowledge or wisdom in Sheol, to which you are
going. 11 Again I saw that under the sun the race is not to the swift,
nor the battle to the strong, nor bread to the wise, nor riches to
the intelligent, nor favor to the skillful; but time and chance happen
to them all. 12 For no one can anticipate the time of disaster. Like
fish taken in a cruel net, and like birds caught in a snare, so mortals
are snared at a time of calamity, when it suddenly falls upon them.
13 I have also seen this example of wisdom under the sun, and it seemed
great to me. 14 There was a little city with few people in it.
A great king came against it and besieged it, building great siegeworks
against it. 15 Now there was found in it a poor wise man, and
he by his wisdom delivered the city. Yet no one remembered that poor
man. 16 So I said, "Wisdom is better than might; yet the poor
man's wisdom is despised, and his words are not heeded." 17 The quiet
words of the wise are more to be heeded than the shouting of
a ruler among fools. 18 Wisdom is better than weapons of war, but one
bungler destroys much good.

(Ecclesiastes 10) Dead flies make the perfumer's ointment give off a
foul odor; so a little folly outweighs wisdom and honor. 2 The
heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of a fool to the
left. 3 Even when fools walk on the road, they lack sense, and
show to everyone that they are fools. 4 If the anger of the ruler rises
against you, do not leave your post, for calmness will undo great
offenses. 5 There is an evil that I have seen under the sun, as great an
error as if it proceeded from the ruler: 6 folly is set in many
high places, and the rich sit in a low place. 7 I have seen slaves on
horseback, and princes walking on foot like slaves. 8 Whoever digs
a pit will fall into it; and whoever breaks through a wall will be
bitten by a snake. 9 Whoever quarries stones will be hurt by them; and
whoever splits logs will be endangered by them. 10 If the iron is blunt,
and one does not whet the edge, then more strength must be
exerted; but wisdom helps one to succeed. 11 If the snake bites before
it is charmed, there is no advantage in a charmer. 12 Words
spoken by the wise bring them favor, but the lips of fools consume them.
13 The words of their mouths begin in foolishness, and their
talk ends in wicked madness; 14 yet fools talk on and on. No one knows
what is to happen, and who can tell anyone what the future
holds? 15 The toil of fools wears them out, for they do not even know
the way to town. 16 Alas for you, O land, when your king is a
servant, and your princes feast in the morning! 17 Happy are you, O
land, when your king is a nobleman, and your princes feast at
the proper time-- for strength, and not for drunkenness! 18 Through
sloth the roof sinks in, and through indolence the house leaks. 19
Feasts are made for laughter; wine gladdens life, and money meets every
need. 20 Do not curse the king, even in your thoughts, or
curse the rich, even in your bedroom; for a bird of the air may carry
your voice, or some winged creature tell the matter.

(Ecclesiastes 11) Send out your bread upon the waters, for after many
days you will get it back. 2 Divide your means seven ways, or
even eight, for you do not know what disaster may happen on earth. 3
When clouds are full, they empty rain on the earth; whether a
tree falls to the south or to the north, in the place where the tree
falls, there it will lie. 4 Whoever observes the wind will not sow; and
whoever regards the clouds will not reap. 5 Just as you do not know how
the breath comes to the bones in the mother's womb, so
you do not know the work of God, who makes everything. 6 In the morning
sow your seed, and at evening do not let your hands be
idle; for you do not know which will prosper, this or that, or whether
both alike will be good. 7 Light is sweet, and it is pleasant for
the eyes to see the sun. 8 Even those who live many years should rejoice
in them all; yet let them remember that the days of darkness
will be many. All that comes is vanity. 9 Rejoice, young man, while you
are young, and let your heart cheer you in the days of your
youth. Follow the inclination of your heart and the desire of your eyes,
but know that for all these things God will bring you into
judgment. 10 Banish anxiety from your mind, and put away pain from your
body; for youth and the dawn of life are vanity.

(Ecclesiastes 12) Remember your creator in the days of your youth,
before the days of trouble come, and the years draw near when
you will say, "I have no pleasure in them"; 2 before the sun and the
light and the moon and the stars are darkened and the clouds
return with the rain; 3 in the day when the guards of the house tremble,
and the strong men are bent, and the women who grind
cease working because they are few, and those who look through the
windows see dimly; 4 when the doors on the street are shut,
and the sound of the grinding is low, and one rises up at the sound of a
bird, and all the daughters of song are brought low; 5 when
one is afraid of heights, and terrors are in the road; the almond tree
blossoms, the grasshopper drags itself along and desire fails;
because all must go to their eternal home, and the mourners will go
about the streets; 6 before the silver cord is snapped, and the
golden bowl is broken, and the pitcher is broken at the fountain, and
the wheel broken at the cistern, 7 and the dust returns to the
earth as it was, and the breath returns to God who gave it. 8 Vanity of
vanities, says the Teacher; all is vanity. 9 Besides being wise,
the Teacher also taught the people knowledge, weighing and studying and
arranging many proverbs. 10 The Teacher sought to find
pleasing words, and he wrote words of truth plainly. 11 The sayings of
the wise are like goads, and like nails firmly fixed are the
collected sayings that are given by one shepherd. 12 Of anything beyond
these, my child, beware. Of making many books there is no
end, and much study is a weariness of the flesh. 13 The end of the
matter; all has been heard. Fear God, and keep his commandments;
for that is the whole duty of everyone. 14 For God will bring every deed
into judgment, including every secret thing, whether good
or evil.

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