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====> LABLaughsClean
=====> http://www.LABLaughs.com
======> Another F-R-E-E mailing from LABLaughs.com

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INTRODUCTION

Greetings to you all.

The principal mark of genius is not perfection but
 originality, the opening of new frontiers. 
-- Arthur Koestler

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QUICK JOKE

Did he really marry her because of her grandfathers
 fortune ?
He denies it. He says he would have married her no
 matter who had left her a fortune !

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CARTOON TIME

KLEPTOMANIAC

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BABY SITTING

Little Johnny was taking care of his baby sister while his
 parents went to town shopping. He decided to go fishing
 and he had to take her along. 

"I'll never do that again!" he told his mother that evening.
 I didn't catch a thing!" Oh, next time I'm sure she'll be
 quiet and not scare the fish away, his mother said.

Little Johnny said, "It wasn't that. She ate all the bait."

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NEVER Get a speeding ticket again... 
Beat the tricks that beat you! 
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GROUP THEM

Twelve or more cows are known as a flink.
A group of frogs is called an "army".
A group of rhinos is called a crash.
A group of kangaroos is called a mob.
A group of whales is called a pod.
A group of ravens is called a murder.
A group of officers is called a mess.
A group of larks is called an exaltation.
A group of owls is called a parliament.

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MEN AND WOMEN

--Excerpts from  Dave Barry.
Most men, I believe, think of themselves as average-looking.
 Men will think this even if their faces cause heart failure
 in cattle at a range of 300 yards. Being average does not
 bother them; average is fine, for men. This is why men
 never ask anybody how they look. Their primary form of
 beauty care is to shave themselves, which is essentially
 the same form of beauty care that they give to their lawns.
 If, at the end of his four-minute daily beauty regimen, a
 man has managed to wipe most of the shaving cream out of
 his hair and is not bleeding too badly, he feels that he
 has done all he can, so he stops thinking about his
 appearance and devotes his mind to more critical issues,
 such as the Super Bowl. 

Women do not look at themselves this way. If I had to
 express, in three words, what I believe most women think
 about their appearance, those words would be: "not good
 enough." No matter how attractive a woman may appear to be
 to others, when she looks at herself in the mirror, she
 thinks: woof. She thinks that at any moment a municipal
 animal-control officer is going to throw a net over her
 and haul her off to the shelter.

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We claim no copyrights to the material in our mailing lists,
if you do Forward it then please leave it intact. If you
wish to reproduce material, then permission is granted, a
link and credit would be nice but is in no way required.

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Please feel free to send us any feedback or comments about
this, or any other LABLaughs Service. We aim to please. Just
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Don't forget to visit our site at http://www.LABLaughs.com

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