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====> LABLaughsClean
=====> http://www.LABLaughs.com
======> Another F-R-E-E mailing from LABLaughs.com

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INTRODUCTION

It will be Sunny Sunday for Everyone.

"Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you
 help them to become what they are capable of becoming."
- Goethe

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QUICK JOKE

Q:What did the mayonnaise say to the fridge?  
A:Close the door, I'm dressing!

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CARTOON TIME

FEARING ONE ANOTHER

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NEVER Get a speeding ticket again... 
Beat the tricks that beat you! 
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DELTA AIRWAYS

At the airport for a business trip, I settled down to wait
 for the boarding announcement at Gate 35. Then I heard the
 voice on the public address system saying, "We apologize
 for the inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 will board from
 Gate 41." 

So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to
 Gate 41. Not ten minutes later the public address voice
 told us that Flight 570 would in fact be boarding from Gate
 35. 

So, again, we gathered our carry-on luggage and returned to
 the original gate. Just as we were settling down, the
 public address voice spoke again: "Thank you for
 participating in Delta's physical fitness program."

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Ski FREE when you stay at Keystone 
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You also receive free activities through 
the Mountain Passport!

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CODE OF SILENCE

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and
 were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week,
 the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at
 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight to Chicago.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (AND LOSE),
 he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM."
 
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was
 9:00 AM and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was
 about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when he
 noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

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The Victory Bracelet!

These are aluminum bracelets in patriotic red, silver and
 blue, emblazoned with 2 American Flags, and the phrase 
"We Stand United." 
The bracelets fit everyone. 

For every bracelet your customers order, 
we include a second FREE bracelet, 
plus a FREE pewter lapel pin with the US flag 
clutched in the talons of the American Bald Eagle, 
PLUS (and I love this one) we will send a matching bracelet 
to a service man or woman serving in the military overseas, 
absolutely free. 

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NEW CAR FOR A RUSSIAN

Morris saves his rubles for twenty years to buy a new car.
 Surprised or even concerned to learn that it will take two
 years for the new car to be delivered, he thanks the
 salesman and starts to leave, but as he reaches the door
 he pauses and turns back to the salesman. 'Do you know
 which week two years from now the new car will arrive?',
 he asks. 

The salesman checks his notes and tells Morris that it will
 be two years to the exact week. The man thanks the salesman
 and starts out again, but upon reaching the door, he turns
 back again. 'Could you possibly tell me what day of the
 week two years from now the car will arrive?' 

The salesman, mildly annoyed, checks his notes again and
 says that it will be exactly two years from this week, on
 Thursday. 

Morris thanks the salesman and once again starts to leave.
 Halfway though the door, he hesitates, turns back, and walks
 up to the salesman. 'Years from now on Thursday in the
 morning, or in the afternoon?' 

Visibly irritated, the salesman flips through his papers yet
 another time and says sharply that it will be in the
 afternoon, two years from now on Thursday. 

'That's a relief!' says Morris. 'The plumber will be coming
 that morning!'

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wish to reproduce material, then permission is granted, a
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Please feel free to send us any feedback or comments about
this, or any other LABLaughs Service. We aim to please. Just
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Don't forget to visit our site at http://www.LABLaughs.com

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