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====> LABLaughsClean
=====> http://www.LABLaughs.com
======> Another F-R-E-E mailing from LABLaughs.com

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INTRODUCTION

This Monday will begin another lovely week.

Life consists not in holding good cards,
but in playing those you hold well.
-- Josh Billings --

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QUICK JOKE

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.

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WHO NEEDS A MAN.

If you want someone who will do anything to please you,
 get a dog. 

If you want someone who will bring you the newspaper
 without tearing through it first for the sports page,
 get a dog. 

If you want someone who'll make a total fool of himself
 because he's so glad to see you, get a dog.


If you want someone who eats whatever you put in front of
 him and never says his mother made it better, get a dog. 

If you want someone who's always eager to go out any time
 you ask and anywhere you want to go, get a dog.

If you want someone who can scare away burglars without
 waving a lethal weapon around, endangering you and all the
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If you want someone who never touches the remote, couldn't
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If you want someone who'll be content just to snuggle up and
 keep you warm in bed, and who you can kick out of bed if he
 slobbers and snores, get a dog. 

If you want someone who never criticizes anything you do,
 doesn't care how good or bad you look, acts as though every
 word you say is worth hearing, never complains, and loves
 you unconditionally all the time, get a dog! 

On the other hand... 

If you want someone who never comes when you call him,
 totally ignores you when you walk in the room, leaves hair
 all over the place, walks all over you, prowls around all
 night and come home only to eat and sleep all day, and acts
 as though you are there only to see that HE's happy... 
 -
 -
 :)
 :(
 -
 -
Get a CAT!

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INVITEE

"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend
 home for supper."

"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn't go
 shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like
 cooking fancy meal!"

"I know all that." 

"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" 

"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."

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CLUNK

An auto mechanic received a repair order that said to check
 for a clunking noise when going around corners.

He took the car out for a test drive and made two right
 turns, each time hearing a loud clunk. 

Back at the shop, he returned the car to the service manager
 with this note: 

'Removed bowling ball from trunk.'

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Please feel free to send us any feedback or comments about
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Don't forget to visit our site at http://www.LABLaughs.com

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