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====> LABLaughsClean
=====> http://www.LABLaughs.com
======> Another F-R-E-E mailing from LABLaughs.com

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INTRODUCTION

Be Good Always!

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is 
called a philosopher.
 
- Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)

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QUICK JOKE

Why can't a bank keep a secret? 

Because there are too many tellers!

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CARTOON TIME

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CAMPING!

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. 

As they lay down for the night, Holmes asked, "Watson, look 
up into the sky and tell me what you see." 

Watson said, "I see millions and millions of stars." 

Holmes said, "And what does that tell you?" 

Watson replied, "Astronomically, it tells me that there are 
millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. 
Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are 
small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it tells me that 
we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell 
you?" 

"That somebody stole our tent," answered Holmes.

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WELCOME ABOARD

"This is your captain speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd 
like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from 
New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 
35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic.

"If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the 
aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines 
are on fire.

"If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will 
observe that the port wing has fallen off.

"If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a 
little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at 
you.

"That's me, the copilot, and one of the air stewardesses. 
This is a recording."

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BILL CLINTON'S CLOCK!

A guy dies and goes to heaven. It's a slow day for 
St. Peter, so, upon passing the entrance test, St. Peter 
says "I'm not very busy today, why don't you let me show you 
around?" The guy thinks this is a great idea and graciously 
accepts the offer. St. Peter shows him all the sights, the 
golf course, the reading room and library, the observation 
room, the cafeteria and finally, they come to a HUGE room 
full of clocks.

The guy asks, "What's up with these clocks?"

St. Peter explains, "Everyone on earth has a clock that 
shows how much time he has left on earth. When a clock runs 
out of time, the person dies and comes to the Gates to be 
judged." The guy thinks this makes sense but notices that 
some of the clocks are going faster than others. He asks 
why is that? St. Peter explains, "Every time a living 
person tells a lie, it speeds up his clock." 

This also makes sense, so the guy takes one last look around 
the room before leaving and notices one clock in the center 
of the ceiling. On this clock, both hands are spinning at an 
unbelievable rate. So he asks, "What's the story with that 
clock?" 

"Oh, that," St. Peter replies, "That's Bill Clinton's clock. 
We decided to use it as a ceiling fan."

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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

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Don't forget to visit our site at http://www.LABLaughs.com

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