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====> LABLaughsClean
=====> http://www.LABLaughs.com
======> Another F-R-E-E mailing from LABLaughs.com

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INTRODUCTION

Hearty Greetings to All!

The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.     

- Gloria Leonard

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QUICK JOKE

2 Snakes were crawling along when one snake asked the other, 
"Are we poisonous snakes?"

The other replied, "You're darn right we are! We're 
rattlesnakes. Why do you ask?"

To which the first replied, "I just bit my tongue."

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CARTOON TIME

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PULLING WOOL!

Every day a peddler pulled his cart of wool from his home to 
the village market. It was a long trip. He had to travel 
around the perimeter of a large lake that was owned by the 
town tycoon, a modern day Scrooge. 

One day, during the winter, the lake froze over. The peddler 
realized he could cut two miles off his trip if he crossed 
over the lake. He was spotted halfway across the frozen 
water by the tycoon, who came out of his mansion screaming. 
"Get off my lake!" he yelled. I'll be darned if I let anyone 
pull the wool over my ice!"

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THREE DUCKS!

Three ducks arrive at the Police station. In deciding why 
they're here, a police officer goes up to the first duck and 
says "What's your name??" The duck replies "Quack". The 
police officer then asks "And why are you here ??" The duck 
says "For blowing bubbles in the pond." "Blowing bubbles in 
the pond!! That's illegal!! That's a $50.00 fine!!" The duck 
agrees to pay the fine.

The police officer goes up to the second duck and says 
"What's your name??" The duck replies "Quack Quack". The 
police officer then asks "And why are you here??" The duck 
says "For blowing bubbles in the pond." "Blowing bubbles in 
the pond!! That's illegal! That's a $50.00 fine!!" The duck 
agrees to pay the fine.

The police officer goes up to the third duck and says "And 
your name must be Quack Quack Quack". And the duck replies 
"No, it's Bubbles".

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SAYINGS....

Experience is something you don't get until just after you 
need it. 

It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to 
steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. 

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. 

Never test the depth of the water with both feet. 

Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain 
dance. 

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a 
couple of car payments. 

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve 
as a warning to others. 

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in 
their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a 
mile away and you have their shoes. 

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. 

Don't squat with your spurs on. 

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. 

Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield. 

Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that 
comes from bad judgment. 

Duct tape is like the force: it has a light side and a dark 
side, and it holds the universe together. 

There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one 
works. 

Experience is the sinking feeling that you have made this 
mistake before. 

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

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