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====> LABLaughsClean
=====> http://www.LABLaughs.com
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INTRODUCTION

Warm wishes!

But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot 
hurrying near.

- Andrew Marvell (1621-1678)

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QUICK JOKE

Three cellmates in a Soviet cell compared notes.
"I was jailed for coming late to work," mourned the first.
"Me? I came too early," recounted the second. 
"They said this proved I was a Capitalist spy."
"And I'm here, " complained the third, "because I arrived
exactly on time. They accused me of owning an American
watch."

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CARTOON TIME

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CALL ME MOTHER!

A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a 
few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. 
Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. 
Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front 
of him.

"Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has 
made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look just 
like my son, who just died recently."

"I'm very sorry," replied the young man, "is there anything 
I can do for you?"

"Yes," she said, "As I'm leaving, can you say 'Good bye, 
Mother!' ? It would make me feel so much better."

"Sure," answered the young man.

As the old woman was leaving, he called out, "Goodbye, 
Mother!"

As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his 
total was .50.

"How can that be?" he asked, "I only purchased a few 
things!"

"Your mother said that you would pay for her," said the 
clerk.

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ROUGH TRIP

While on a car trip, an old couple stopped at a roadside 
restaurant for lunch. The old woman unfortunately left her 
glasses on the table, but didn't miss them until they were 
back on the highway. By then, they had to travel quite a 
distance before they could find a place to turn around. 

The old man fussed and complained all the way back to the 
restaurant. 

When they finally arrived, as the old woman got out of the 
car to retrieve her glasses, the old man said, "While you're 
in there, you might as well get my hat, too."

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JUSTICE...

A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the 
counter. 

Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to 
a neighbor of his. The neighbor happened to be a lawyer. 

Incensed by the theft, the butcher called up his neighbor 
and said, "If your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, 
would you be liable for the cost of the meat?" 

The lawyer replied, "Of course. How much was the roast?" 

"$7.98," said the butcher. 

A few days later, the butcher received a check in the mail 
for $7.98. Attached to it was an invoice that read, Legal 
Consultation Service: $150.

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