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~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ====> LABLaughsClean =====> http://www.LABLaughs.com ======> Another F-R-E-E mailing from LABLaughs.com ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * <><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><> YOUR INTERNET USAGE IS BEING TRACKED You have no privacy protection. Will your BOSS, WIFE or KIDS find out? PROTECT YOUR PRIVACY - DONT GET FIRED!! WINDOWS DOESNT ALLOW YOU TO DELETE THESE RECORDS!! DOWNLOAD INTERNET ERASER http://www.interneteraser.com/enter.html?ID=1223085 <a href="http://www.interneteraser.com/enter.html?ID=1223085 "> AOL users click here </a> <><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><> ^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.- INTRODUCTION Best Wishes! Give me chastity and continence, but not yet. - Saint Augustine (354-430) ^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.- QUICK JOKE A man was walking about with a lemon stuck in his right ear. When he was asked the reason for this he replied, "You've probably heard of a hearing aid - well, this is a lemon aid." ^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.- CARTOON TIME UNICORNS! http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C20020622 <a href="http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C20020622";> AOL users click here </a> ^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.- <><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><> Poets !! Free Poetry Contest Your poem could win $10,000 1175 prizes totaling $58,000 to be awarded. All amateur poets invited. The contest is open to everyone, and entry is free. 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Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?" One eye opened, she groaned, "Actually, I meant my dress size." ^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.- <><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><> UPGRADE YOUR CAREER- GET YOUR MBA, BA/BS OR AA DEGREE ONLINE! Earn your accredited MBA, Bachelor's or AA degree via the Internet from nationally known and regionally accredited Universities with NO CLASSROOM ATTENDANCE required via The University Alliance. Classes begin every 8 weeks. http://psstt.com/1/c/22998/58302/179969/179969 <a href="http://psstt.com/1/c/22998/58302/179969/179969";> AOL users click here </a> <><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><> ^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.- A CHAMPION JOCKEY! A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says, ''All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, 'ALLLLEEE OOOP!' really loudly in the horse's ear. Providing you do that, you'll be fine.'' The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer's ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump. They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers 'Aleeee ooop' in the horse's ear. The same thing happens--the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump. At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, ''It's no good, I'll have to do it,'' and yells, ''ALLLEEE OOOP!'' really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for the rest of the race, but due to the earlier problems the horse only finishes third. The trainer is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong. The jockey replies, ''Nothing is wrong with me--it's this bloody horse. What is he--deaf or something?'' The trainer replies, ''Deaf?? DEAF?? He's not deaf--he's BLIND!'' ^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.- <><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><> New Dealer Incentives and Manufacturer Rebates will help get you into that new car, truck or SUV. See how much you can SAVE with a FREE dealer quote at Stoneage.com! CLICK HERE: http://psstt.com/1/c/22998/57359/180881/180881 <a href="http://psstt.com/1/c/22998/57359/180881/180881";> AOL users click here </a> <><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><> ^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.- KALLE SVENSSON Kalle Svensson (from Sweden of course) knew all people. At least he always said so to his work mates. He liked to boast. One day, Kalle said, "I know the Prime Minister." Of course, his friends didn't believe him. The Prime Minister lived in Stockholm, and Kalle lived in Gothenburg. "Nah... you're kidding!" his friends said. "No, I'm not! I can prove it! He said I could call him, if you want! Kalle said. Believe it or not, Kalle actually did call the Prime Minister, and they talked for hours! No doubt they knew each other. His work mates were stunned. The next day, Kalle said to the others, "I know the king!" "What?" his work mates said. "Don't tell lies, of course you don't know the king! We can understand that you know the Prime Minister, but the king, no way." "Oh, I can prove it," Kalle said. "The king is coming here next month. He's going to drive through the whole city, and hold a speech. I'll be there and change a few words with him after the speech!" Next month, after the king's speech, Kalle went forward, said something to the guards, and walked toward the king. "Hello Karl Gustaf, nice to meet ya!" he said. "Kalle! Long time no see," the king said, and they shook hands. They talked for a while, but then the king had to go, so Kalle went back to his friends. "Well?" he said, and smiled self-confidently. His friends were stunned once again. After this incident, Kalle was even worse. He boasted more than ever. One day he said to his work mates, "I know the pope!" They didn't believe him, but he continued saying this all day, until his work mates were extremely tired of hearing him. Suddenly one of them got an idea. "Guys!" he said. "I've got an idea! Why don't we offer Kalle a trip to Italy, to visit the pope. One of us will go with him. If Kalle can prove that he knows the pope, we'll pay the trip; if not, he has to pay it!" "Yeah, great idea!" the others agreed. Kalle agreed to the Italy trip, and a couple of days later they went away. They arrived to Rome, to the Vatican, and went to see the pope. It was really crowded, and they could see the pope high up on a balcony. He waved to the people. Kalle went away, and after a while his friend saw him next to the pope, on the balcony. When Kalle said hello to the pope, something happened. His friend passed out! "I'm so sorry Johannes Paulus... I have to go now!" he said, and hurried away to his friend. When he got there, his friend was waiting. "Why did you pass out?" Kalle asked. "Is it so strange that I know the pope?" "No, it wasn't that," the friend answered. "You see, when you talked to the pope, a sheik beside me said, 'Who is that waving man next to Kalle Svensson?'" ^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.- <><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><> Increase Your Energy Level! Reduce stress, improve health. Breakthrough drink. Replace up to 10 vitamin pills. US residents only. 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