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====> LABLaughsClean
=====> http://www.LABLaughs.com
======> Another F-R-E-E mailing from LABLaughs.com

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INTRODUCTION

Cool Greetings!

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has 
endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us     
to forgo their use.
 
- Galileo Galilei

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QUICK JOKE

What's the quietest place in the world? 
The complaint department at the parachute packing plant.

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CARTOON TIME

STRESS...

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SIMPLICITY!

A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, 
looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed 
to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in 
there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and 
if you get it right, you can play." The player agreed, so 
coach looked into his eyes intently and asked, "Okay, now 
concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is two 
plus two?" 

The player thought for a moment and then answered, "4?" "Did 
you say 4?" the coach exclaimed, excited that he had got it 
right. Suddenly all the other players on the team began 
screaming..., "Come on coach, give him another chance!"

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SIGN LANGUAGE!

A man was sitting in a bar and noticed a group of people 
using sign language. He also noticed that the bartender was 
using sign language to speak to them. 

When the bartender returned to him, the man asked how he had 
learned to use sign language. The bartender explained that 
these were regular customers who had taught him to sign. The 
man thought that was great. 

A few minutes later, the man noticed that the people in the 
group were waving their hands around very wildly. 

The bartender looked over and signed, "Now cut that out! I 
warned you!" and threw the group out of the bar. 

The man asked why he had done that, and the bartender said, 
"If I told them once, I've told them 100 times -- 
NO SINGING IN THE BAR!"

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DUMB PARROT

One day a guy looked out his kitchen window where he was 
drinking his coffee, trying to get his parrot to say 
something. Just then he saw a bunch of kids trying to break 
his fence. He yelled out to them, "If you kids don't get 
lost, I'm gonna call the police!" And the kids answered 
back, Bologna! Bologna! Bologna!" And then the parrrot 
repeated them, "Bologna! Bologna! Bologna!" 

The next week the guy went rock climbing with his two 
brothers and for some dumb reason, took the bird with him. 
One of the brothers fell into a hole. The other brother 
shouted "Get a rope, pull him up. Get a rope, pull him up. 
Get a rope, pull him up." And then the parrot repeated him. 

Two weeks after that the guy went to the fair and brought 
his parrot with him. Far off in the distance the parrot 
heard "Hit the doll, win a prize!" And so he repeated him. 

That Sunday the guy and his parrot went to chruch and when 
the priest began his speech, "God lives up there." And he 
gestured to the celing and the parrot then said, "Bologna! 
Bologna! Bologna!" The priest ignored him. Again he 
started, "The devil lives down there." And he gestured to 
the floor. The parrot then spoke, "Get a rope, pull him up. 
Get a rope, pull him up. Get a rope, pull him up!" 

The priest got angry and in dispare threw the bible and it 
hit a nun. Just then the parrot said, "Hit the doll, win a 
prize!"

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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

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if you do Forward it then please leave it intact. If you
wish to reproduce material, then permission is granted, a
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Please feel free to send us any feedback or comments about
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Don't forget to visit our site at http://www.LABLaughs.com

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