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====> LABLaughsClean
=====> http://www.LABLaughs.com
======> Another F-R-E-E mailing from LABLaughs.com

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INTRODUCTION

God Bless All!

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where 
it itches. 

- the Duchess of Windsor, when asked what is the secret of 
a long and happy life

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QUICK JOKE

If I can be of any help . . . you're in worse shape than I      thought.

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CARTOON TIME

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THE PHYSICIST....

A Princeton plasma physicist is at the beach when he 
discovers an ancient looking oil lantern sticking out of the 
sand. He rubs the sand off with a towel and a genie pops 
out. The genie offers to grant him one wish. The physicist 
retrieves a map of the world from his car an circles the 
Middle East and tells the genie, "I wish you to bring peace 
in this region". 

After 10 long minutes of deliberation, the genie replies, 
"Gee, there are lots of problems there with Lebanon, Iraq, 
Israel, and all those other places. This is awfully 
embarrassing. I've never had to do this before, but I'm just 
going to have to ask you for another wish. This one is just 
too much for me". 

Taken aback, the physicist thinks a bit and asks, "I wish 
that the Princeton tokamak would achieve scientific fusion 
energy break-even." 

After another deliberation the genie asks, "Could I see that
map again?"

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PROBLEM WITH CHICKENS!

There is this farmer who is having problems with his 
chickens. All of the sudden, they are all getting very sick 
and he doesn't know what is wrong with them. After trying 
all conventional means, he calls a biologist, a chemist, and 
a physicist to see if they can figure out what is wrong. 

So the biologist looks at the chickens, examines them a bit, 
and says he has no clue what could be wrong with them. Then 
the chemist takes some tests and makes some measurements, 
but he can't come to any conclusions either. 

So the physicist tries. He stands there and looks at the 
chickens for a long time without touching them or anything. 
Then all of the sudden he starts scribbling away in a 
notebook. Finally, after several gruesome calculations, he 
exclaims, "I've got it! But it only works for spherical 
chickens in a vacuum."

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ALL IN THE FAMILY...

Once not to long ago in Ireland there lived a family made up 
of a mother, father, and 3 boys. The family lived on a farm 
and all of them were big, husky people. All that is except 
the youngest boy, who was small and skinny.

Days past and turned into years and the father fell sick one 
day. Things turned worse and worse yet, until one day soon 
he was laying on his death bed.

Now it's an old Irish tradition to ask one question, 
anything at all, on your death bed, and it must be answered. 
So with all of his family round him he mustered up the 
strength to call his wife to him. She leaned down so as she 
could hear his faint voice.

'I'm goin' ta ask ye a qeustion,' he said to his wife. 
'Alright, ask me what ye will, and answer ye true shall I,' 
she said, holding his feeble hand.

The man took in a deep breath and motioned as he spoke, 
'The boy there on the end of the bed, the skinny one... is 
he mine?'

The mother sat looking at the skinny, feeble boy for a 
moment, then turned back to her dying husband and said, 
'Yeah, he's yours and for sure he is.'

And with that the old Irishman died.

The mother folded his hands across his dead body, stood up, 
looked at her sons, and said, 'I'm glad he didn't ask about 
ye other two!'

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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

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Don't forget to visit our site at http://www.LABLaughs.com

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