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====> LABLaughsClean
=====> http://www.LABLaughs.com
======> Another F-R-E-E mailing from LABLaughs.com

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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

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INTRODUCTION

Good Wishes!

A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies. 

- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

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QUICK JOKE

A philosopher always knows what to do until it happens 
to him.

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CARTOON TIME

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PIRATE JOKE.....

A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I 
haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look 
terrible!" 

"What do you mean? I'm fine." 

"What about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before." 

"Well," said the pirate, "we were in a battle at sea and a 
cannon ball hit my leg, but the Doc fixed me up, and I'm 
fine, really." 

"Oh yeah? Well, what about that hook? The last time I saw 
you, you had both hands." 

"Well, we were in another battle and we boarded the enemy 
ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off, but 
the Doc fixed me up with the hook, and I feel great, 
really." 

"Oh," said the bartender, "what about that eye patch? The 
last time you were in here you had both eyes." 

"One day when we were at sea some birds were flying over the 
ship. I looked up and one of them pooped in my eye." 

"You're kidding," said the bartender, "You couldn't have 
lost an eye just from some bird poop!" 

"Nah, it was my first day with the hook."

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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

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MONEY IN THE CASKET.....

There was a man who worked all of his life and had saved his 
money and was a real miser when it came to his money. He 
loved money more than just about anything. 

Just before he died, he said to his wife. "Now listen. When 
I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the 
casket with me. Because I want to take my money to the 
afterlife with me." 

And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart 
that when he died, she would put all of the money in the 
casket with him. 

Well one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, 
the wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was 
sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, just 
before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the 
wife said, "Wait just a minute!" 

She had a box with her, she came over with the box and put 
it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket 
down, and they rolled it away. So her friend said, "Girl, I 
know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there 
with that man." 

She said, "Listen, I'm a Christian, I can't lie. I promised 
him that I was gonna put that money in that casket with 
him." 

"You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with 
the man?" 

"I sure did," said the wife. "I wrote him a check."

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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

YOUR INTERNET USAGE IS BEING TRACKED 
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THE TRUCK AND THE TOLLBOOTH.....

When the driver of a huge trailer lost control of his rig, 
he plowed into an empty tollbooth and smashed it to pieces. 
He climbed down from the wreckage and within a matter of 
minutes, a truck pulled up and discharged a crew of workers. 


The men picked up each broken piece of the former tollbooth 
and spread some kind of creamy substance on it. Then they 
began fitting the pieces together. In less than a half hour, 
they had the entire tollbooth reconstructed and looking 
good as new. 


"Astonishing!" the truck driver said to the crew chief. 
"What was the white stuff you used to get all the pieces 
together?" 


The crew chief said, "Oh, that was tollgate booth paste."

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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

How To Stop Worrying (About Diabetes) And Start Living!

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if you do Forward it then please leave it intact. If you
wish to reproduce material, then permission is granted, a
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this, or any other LABLaughs Service. We aim to please. Just
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Don't forget to visit our site at http://www.LABLaughs.com

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