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====> LABLaughsClean
=====> http://www.LABLaughs.com
======> Another F-R-E-E mailing from LABLaughs.com

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INTRODUCTION

Be Cheerful!

Sanity is a madness put to good uses.
 
- George Santayana (1863-1952)

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QUICK JOKE

I have a dog that talks in its sleep. One day a visitor was 
astonished to hear the dog bellow, "My name is Christopher 
Columbus! I am seven hundred years old! I own America! I 
married Marilyn Monroe!" 


When the visitor asked what was going on, I replied, "Don't 
worry about it. It's better to just let sleeping dogs lie."

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CARTOON TIME

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LEAPING SPARK.....

Leaping Spark was one of the brightest boys in his Indian 
tribe and his progress was watched closely by the chief. 
When he had completed his grades in the reservation school 
the chief decided he should be sent to university. 

Leaping Spark didn't let the tribe down. He graduated magna 
cum laude as an electrical engineer. In gratitude, he 
decided he would decorate the entrance to the reservation's 
longhouse with a moose head that would glow in the dark. 

He installed lights for the eyes and twined other lights 
around the antlers. In the evening it was a landmark to be 
seen for miles! 

And so Leaping Spark became the first of his race ever to 
wire a head for a reservation.

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A FEW PUNS FOR WEDNESDAY.....

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they 
lit a fire in the craft it sank, proving once and for all 
that you can't have your kayak and heat it too. 

Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to 
Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed 
behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. 
The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of 
two weevils. 

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's 
Novocain during root canal work? He wanted to transcend 
dental medication. 

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were 
standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament 
victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the 
office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, 
as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess 
nuts boasting in an open foyer." 

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. 
He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least 
one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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MOSES CALLS A STAFF MEETING....

Moses and his flock arrive at the sea, with the Egyptians in 
hot pursuit. 

Moses calls a staff meeting. 

Moses: Well, how are we going to get across the sea? We need 
a fast solution. The Egyptians are close behind us. 

The General of the Armies: Normally, I'd recommend that we 
build a pontoon bridge to carry us across. But there's not 
enough time - the Egyptians are too close. 

The Admiral of the Navy: Normally, I'd recommend that we 
build barges to carry us across. But time is too short. 

Moses: Does anyone have a solution? 

Just then, his Public Relations man raises his hand. 

Moses: You! You have a solution? 

The PR Man: No, but I can promise you this: If you can find 
a way out of this one, I can get you two or three pages in 
the Old Testament!

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YOUR INTERNET USAGE IS BEING TRACKED 
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if you do Forward it then please leave it intact. If you
wish to reproduce material, then permission is granted, a
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Please feel free to send us any feedback or comments about
this, or any other LABLaughs Service. We aim to please. Just
send mailto: [EMAIL PROTECTED] and we'll try to please you!

Don't forget to visit our site at http://www.LABLaughs.com

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