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~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ====> LABLaughsClean =====> http://www.LABLaughs.com ======> Another F-R-E-E mailing from LABLaughs.com ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * <><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><> Become DEBT FREE in no time at all! REDUCE your monthly payments with the help of this non-profit service TODAY! Turn all of your current headaches into ONE LOW monthly payment. No obligation, CLICK HERE to LEARN more about this FREE service today http://psstt.com/1/c/22998/50054/201636/201636 <a href="http://psstt.com/1/c/22998/50054/201636/201636";> AOL users click here </a> <><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><> ^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.- INTRODUCTION Sweet Blessings to All! While we are postponing, life speeds by. - Seneca (3BC - 65AD) ^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.- QUICK JOKE History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools. ^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.- CARTOON TIME MODERN CLASSROOM.... http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C20020826 <a href="http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C20020826";> AOL users click here </a> ^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.- <><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><> "The first free email ad exchange program online" - Send your ad to 10 people for every email you read... for free - Refer your friends and reap the benefits from the 4 level referral system - For every email your referrals read, your ad is read by 2 people more - Your ad is sent to a targeted demographic list Sign up now for free http://www.maxmailer.com/member_signup.php <a href="http://www.maxmailer.com/member_signup.php";> AOL users click here </a> <><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><> ^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.- A DAY AT THE RACES..... A Rabbi is walking slowly down the street when a gust of wind blows his hat from his head. The hat is being blown down the street, but he is an old man, using a cane, and can't walk fast enough to catch the hat. Across the street a Gentile sees what has happened and rushes over to grab the hat and then returns it to the Rabbi. "I don't think I would have been able to catch my hat," said the Rabbi. "Thank you very much." The Rabbi then places his hand on the man's shoulder and says, "May God bless you." The young man thinks to himself, "I've been blessed by the Rabbi, this must be my lucky day!" So he goes to the Racetrack and in the first race he sees there is a horse named Stetson at 20 to 1. He bets $50 and sure enough the horse comes in first. In the second race he sees a horse named Fedora at 30 to 1, so he bets it all and this horse comes in first also. Finally at the end of the day he returns home to his wife. When she asks him where he's been, he explains how he caught the Rabbi's hat and was blessed by him and then went to the track and started winning on horses that had a hat in their names. "So where's the money?" she asks. "I lost it all in the ninth race. I bet on a horse named Chateau and it lost." "You fool, Chateau is a house, Chapeau is a hat!" "It doesn't matter," he said, "the winner was some Japanese horse named Yarmulka." ^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.- <><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><> Put your child�s detective skills to work with the SCOOBY-DOO! AND YOU MYSTERY CLUB. Get 4 FREE GIFTS featuring that best-selling pooch and his pals! http://psstt.com/1/c/22998/37174/201636/201636 <a href="http://psstt.com/1/c/22998/37174/201636/201636";> AOL users click here </a> <><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><> ^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.- ATHEIST'S PRAYER.... As an atheist walked through the forest, he smiled at the beauty that was all around him and said, "What natural wonders the powers of evolution have created." Just then he heard a rustling near the river. He went to investigate and a 7-foot-tall grizzly bear was tearing down the path towards him. The man took off like a shot, and when he got up the courage to look back, he saw the bear was catching up fast. He tried with all his strength to pick up the pace, but he tripped and crashed to the ground. As he tried to get up, the bear jumped on his chest and picked up one paw to whack him. The atheist screamed, "Oh my God!!!" Time stopped! The bear froze. The forest was silent. Even the river stopped moving. As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice boomed from the heavens, "You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist, and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?" The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps could you make the bear a Christian?" "Very well," the voice said. The light went out, the river ran again, and the sounds of the forest resumed. And then the bear dropped its right paw, brought both paws together, bowed its head and spoke: "Lord, for this food which I am about to receive, I am truly thankful." ^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.- <><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><> ESPN The Magazine - a convenient, portable version of the excitement and attitude of ESPN. Get 26 issues (one year) for $26 - just $1 an issue. You save 75% off the newsstand price and get a FREE, XL, ESPN The Magazine Fleece Jacket with your paid subscription! http://psstt.com/1/c/22998/65458/201636/201636 <a href="http://psstt.com/1/c/22998/65458/201636/201636";> AOL users click here </a> <><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><> ^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.- DEAR PASTOR..... Letters to a pastor **Dear Pastor, I know God loves everybody but He never met my sister. Yours sincerely, Arnold. Age 8, Nashville. **Dear Pastor, Please say in your sermon that Peter Peterson has been a good boy all week. I am Peter Peterson. Sincerely, Pete. Age 9, Phoenix **Dear Pastor, My father should be a minister. Every day he gives us a sermon about something. Robert, Page 11, Anderson **Dear Pastor, I'm sorry I can't leave more money in the plate, but my father didn't give me a raise in my allowance. Could you have a sermon about a raise in my allowance? Love, Patty. Age 10, New Haven **Dear Pastor, My mother is very religious. She goes to play bingo at church every week even if she has a cold. Yours truly, Annette. Age 9, Albany **Dear Pastor, I would like to go to heaven someday because I know my brother won't be there. Stephen. Age 8, Chicago **Dear Pastor, I think a lot more people would come to your church if you moved it to Disneyland. Loreen. Age 9. Tacoma **Dear Pastor, I liked your sermon where you said that good health is more important than money but I still want a raise in my allowance. Sincerely, Eleanor. Age 12, Sarasota **Dear Pastor, I hope to go to heaven some day but later than sooner. Love, Ellen, age 9. Athens **Dear Pastor, Please say a prayer for our Little League team. We need God's help or a new pitcher. Thank you. Alexander. Age 10, Raleigh **Dear Pastor, My father says I should learn the Ten Commandments. But I don't think I want to because we have enough rules already in my house. Joshua. Age 10, South Pasadena **Dear Pastor, Who does God pray to? Is there a God for God? Sincerely, Christopher. Age 9, Titusville **Dear Pastor, Are there any devils on earth? I think there may be one in my class. Carla. Age 10, Salina **Dear Pastor, I liked your sermon on Sunday. Especially when it was finished. Ralph, Age 11, Akron **Dear Pastor, How does God know the good people from the bad people? Do you tell Him or does He read about it in the newspapers? Sincerely, Marie. Age 9, Lewiston ^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.- <><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><> How To Stop Worrying (About Diabetes) And Start Living! ... The Right Meal, Controls, Medication And Information! For FREE Info, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED], subject: diabetes <><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><> ^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.- Subscribe: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Unsubscribe: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Advertising Info: [EMAIL PROTECTED] ^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.- We claim no copyrights to the material in our mailing lists, if you do Forward it then please leave it intact. If you wish to reproduce material, then permission is granted, a link and credit would be nice but is in no way required. ^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.- Please feel free to send us any feedback or comments about this, or any other LABLaughs Service. We aim to please. Just send mailto: [EMAIL PROTECTED] and we'll try to please you! Don't forget to visit our site at http://www.LABLaughs.com ^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.- If you've got a Canon or Epson printer and need new ink... 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