I've re-typed this as I didn't think it would get through with the bells and whistles, though I liked them (sorry Tamara) And no apologies for the disgusting ones or the non-politicaly correct - hey, it's just to laugh at
"Attention Shoppers" 15 things to do at Walmart whilst your partner is taking their own sweet time. 1. Pick up condom packages and randomly put them in people's carts whilst they are not looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at five minute intervals 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone "code 3 in housewares" and see what happens. 5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M & M's on lay away 6. Move a "CAUTON - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose 10. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are 11. Dart around the store suspiciously whilst loudly humming the theme from 'Mission Impossible' 12. In the auto department practice your 'Madonna boobs' look using different size funnels 13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say 'PICK ME! PICK ME!!!' 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the foetal position and scream 'NO! It's those voices again.' 15. Go into a fitting room and yell real loud 'We're out of toilet paper in here!' Joan from Yorkshire, just about to start on Chapter 15 of Harry Potter. There have been rumours of someone dying - don't know who, or even if its true, but I couldn't resist and sneaked a look at the end, so I know some who are still alive and I'm still enjoying it. To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED]
