Well, I'm not gullible enough to believe this is an actual application, but it's still funny!
Clay > > WAL-MART Job Application... > > > > This is an actual job application that a 75-year old senior submitted to > > > > Wal-Mart in Arkansas .... and they hired him because he was so honest and > > funny! > > > > > > > > NAME: George Martin > > > > SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person (or one who'll > > cooperate). > > > > DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, > > > > whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be > > applying here in the first place. > > > > DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz > > style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can > > haggle. > > > > EDUCATION: Yes. > > > > LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. > > > > SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth. > > > > MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and > > > > post-it notes. > > > > REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked. > > > > HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. > > > > PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p. m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. > > > > DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS? Yes, but they're better suited to a more > > > > intimate environment. > > > > MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here? > > > > DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING > > UP > > > > TO 50 lbs.?: Of what? > > > > DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be > "Do > > > > you have a car that runs?" > > > > HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a > > > > winner of the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes. > > > > DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks no. > > > > WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with > > a fabulously wealthy, dumb, sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the > > greatest > > > > thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now. > > > > DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR > > > > KNOWLEDGE?: Yes, Absolutely. > > > > SIGN HERE: Sagittarius Clay Blackwell Lynchburg, VA To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
