A different view -- Many disabled don't have visible disability. My mother
looked like a perfectly healthy person. The problem was her heart. She
had limitations on stressing the heart and that included a walking limit.
And, Denise (lacegarden) wrote:
Tina has MS, multiple sclerosis. She has chronic, progressive MS, the
bad kind with no remissions, no good days. And she has fought it tooth and
nail every step of the way. The first year or two she had her disabled
parking permit she was in her early 30's, young and very healthy looking,
and drove a sporty little car, though it had to be outfitted with hand
controls. And she fought having to use even a cane as long as she could.
I'll start with a joke; that's what I do best, and it applies to the "thread"...
A young woman gets on a Warsaw bus, and moves to the seat reserved for pregnant women and mothers with babes in arms. A man is sitting there, gives her an appraising look, and doesn't get up. So, she says: "excuse me, but would you please give me your seat; I'm pregnant". He jumps up, she sits down. He says: "sorry about that, but you don't show at all; I couldn't tell... How far "gone" are you?" She looks up at him, gives him a dreamy smile, and says: "About half an hour"
That girl could have been me, 35 yrs ago... :) Or almost; while I might not have claimed that seat within half an hour, I'd certainly would have claimed it by 3rd month, long before I was showing (5th). I had problems throughout my pregnancy and, standing for half an hour in a packed bus wasn't an option; I'd have claimed that seat whether I *looked* like I needed it or not.
But I have no pride (false or otherwise)... :) I'd have made it *obvious*, to all and sundry, that I needed the seat, by holding my belly protectively with both hands (a typical gesture of most mothers-to-be), while trying to lean, securely, against something (and not succeeding; Warsaw bus drivers all think they're American cowboys <g>). If it had been my heart or my legs which would grant me the "priviledge", I'd have *stressed* that disability, instead of hiding it. *If* I needed to.
OTOH, if I decided that acting like everyone else was more important to me than getting the "breaks", then I would take the "lumps" with it (malignant looks, verbal abuse), and do my best to ignore them.
I never park in handicapped designated spots. Not because of the possible fines (nobody seems to mind much -- you never see cops taking license numbers at grocery parking lots, only at time-limited spots along the streets), and not because someone might think I'm more disabled than I am. I simply think it's despicable for someone who doesn't *need* it, to claim a parking spot of someone who *might*, and all for the sake of 20 feet or so. But I also thought it was stupid when my DH -- within weeks of scheduled hip-replacement surgery and *hobbling*, in pain constantly, refused to apply for a temporary handicapped permit -- strictly because of "pride". Because of "pride", my father (*after* a hip-replacement surgery <g>) refused to use one of those adjustable, metal canes; they were, visibly, "medical". So, instead, he used one which looked "aristocratic" and was the wrong length for him besides being unstable. To each his/her own vanity... :)
And I get *livid* when I see a disabled person (with a legitimate "tag", so there's nothing I can do about it) being driven to a store, the car being parked in the Handicapped area, the handicapped person sitting in the car, and the able one running the errands; there aren't all that many reserved handicapped spots to begin with, and one can sit in a car 200 yrds away as well as 150, in equal comfort.
Though, to be sure, I did accept the 5% Senior Citizen discount from one of the grocery stores as long as they didn't ask my age, and *assumed* I was over 55... Now that the cat is out of the bag (they asked, and I "made like George" <g>), I drag my DH (no longer hobbling <g>) to the shops every Tuesday... I'll *take* whatever's *offered* <g>
----- Tamara P Duvall Lexington, Virginia, USA Formerly of Warsaw, Poland http://lorien.emufarm.org/~tpd/
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