As one who has written medical notes, and who has seen the
regulations regarding the release of these notes, I'm
wondering who has compiled this list and released it!!  Must
be those evil insurance auditors - we KNEW they couldn't be
trusted!!  ; )

Clay

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Jean Nathan" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: "Chat" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Sent: Sunday, February 01, 2004 4:41 PM
Subject: [lace-chat] :-) Medical notes


> ACTUAL MEDICAL NOTES!!!!!!!............................
>
> Patient has two teenage children, but no other
abnormalities.
> Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for
over a year.
> On the second day, the knee was better, and then on the
third day it
> disappeared.
> The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also
appears to be
> depressed.
> The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me
in 1993.
> Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.
> Healthy-appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally
alert but forgetful.
> The patient refused autopsy.
> The patient has no previous history of suicides.
> Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
> Patient's medical history has been remarkably
insignificant with only a
> 40-pound weight gain in the last three days.
> Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
> Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady
pregnant.
> She is numb from her toes down.
> While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
> The skin was moist and dry.
> Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
> Patient was alert and unresponsive.
> She stated that she had been constipated for most of her
life until she got
> a divorce.
> Rectal examination revealed a normal-size thyroid.
> I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for
physical therapy.
> Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and
accommodation.
> Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus-sized.
> The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
> The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he
took a job as a
> stockbroker instead.
> Skin: somewhat pale but present.
> The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
> Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. ____, who felt we
should sit on the
> abdomen and I agree.
> Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
> She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband
states she was hot in
> bed last night.
> Patient was found in bed with her power mower.
>
>
> Jean in Poole
>
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