Tee hee... As they say in the blogosphere: "Fresca >>> Monitor".
Except, in my case, it's "white wine >>> keyboard"
From: M.C.
Dear Husband,
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that
I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven
years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have
been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job
today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't
notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite
meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two
minutes, then went straight to sleep after watching the game.
You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch
me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore.
Whatever the case is, I'm gone.
Your Ex-wife
P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving
away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
***********************
Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving
your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven
years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been.
I watch sports so much to try to drown out your
constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut
off all of your hair last week; the first thing that came to mind was
"You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if
you can't say anything nice.
When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten
me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years
ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because
the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that
my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and
your negligee was $49.99.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we
could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for
ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets
to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you
have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with the letter
that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
Your ex-husband
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother,
was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
--
Tamara P Duvall http://t-n-lace.net/
Lexington, Virginia, USA (Formerly of Warsaw, Poland)
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