Kathy E <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> writes:


SAVE THE DOLLARS: An investigation by the Chicago Tribune has found that
several U.S.-based charities formed to "sponsor" and help feed poor 
children in third-world countries are "rife with scams". Organizations 
such as Save the Children and Childreach, the newspaper says, do not 
always send donations directly to needy children as they claim. The 
paper anonymously sponsored several children for two years, then made 
surprise visits to their villages.  In one village they found a 44- 
year-old teacher who was hired to write the letters local children were
supposed to send to their sponsors. In some cases, they found the 
sponsored children had been dead for years, but the sponsors had no 
idea, apparently because the letters were still arriving regularly. 
(AFP) ...See? We told you that this poor child hadn't eaten in a long 
time!

SAVE THE PENNIES: A private investigator has advised the U.S. Senate 
Subcommittee on Technology, Terrorism and Government Information of a 
major terrorist threat facing the country: cents-off supermarket 
coupons. "To terror organizations hiding in our communities, the coupon
inserts mean financing, here and abroad," claims Ben Jacobson. He says
that terror groups are clipping coupons from newspapers and 
fraudulently redeeming them to help finance terrorist operations, and 
it's imperative for the country to toughen coupon fraud laws. (UPI) 
...Help fight terrorism: pledge to pay only full price for Cap'n 
Crunch.

COP ROCK: When Oakland, Calif., police officers arrested Julian
Aldarondo for allegedly stealing a cookie, Aldarondo says the cops
subjected him to "excessive force". Specifically, he says, they made him
sit and listen while an officer sang "Escape, The Pina Colada Song",
which he alleged was "the most degrading and humiliating experience" of
his life. Officer Anthony Toribio said he sang the song to "defuse
tension" over the arrest after he found out that Aldarondo was a singer.
"It's a snappy song with one of those catchy tunes," Toribio said. The
Oakland Police Review Board rejected the excessive force claim.
(Reuters)  ...Aldarondo has denied reports that, if convicted, he will
adopt "Wasting Away in Margaritaville" as his jailhouse theme.

OFF TO THE SHOWERS: British football referees have a limit to the amount
of abuse they will take before they pull out their dreaded red card. So
when Melvin Sylvester lost his temper at an amateur game in Charlton 
and punched out a player, out came the red card. But the card came out 
of Sylvester's own pocket. He was the referee at the game, and he 
pulled the card on himself, ejecting himself from the game. "I was 
sorely provoked," he said later. But Sylvester feels bad enough about 
the incident that he says he's making his expulsion permanent, and will
never officiate at a match again. (AFP) ...Don't you just hate refs who
go straight to the red card without even having the courtesy of giving
a warning first?

TERROR FROM ABOVE: British evangelist John Holme says he saw heaven over
Salisbury, England. He decided to get a closer glimpse of his final 
reward, and while he was at it spread The Word, by flying over the town
in a motorized paraglider armed with a megaphone. "I thought that maybe
if they heard this voice booming out from the sky, they would think it 
was God," Holme said later. Witnesses said Holme was veering around 
trees and fences with a look of "sheer horror in his eyes", but the 
parapreacher said he wasn't afraid. "Considering it was the first time 
I had flown, I think my performance was not too bad," he told a 
reporter. A local magistrate was not amused. He fined Holme 1,050 
pounds (US$1,730) plus court costs for flying too close to a populated 
area. "I can't believe I've got a criminal record after this," lamented
Holme. (Reuters) ...Coming this fall from BBC: the new zany sequel to 
"The Flying Nun".

HOT HOT HOT: The Firefighters Historical Society in Winnipeg, Manitoba,
Canada, are planning a new museum in town to hold their antique fire 
equipment and memorabilia. They even have a site: an old firehouse. 
However, the building does not meet fire codes. The Society is raising 
money to bring it up to current standards, but they better hurry: the 
building is the third firehouse on the site. The first two burned down.
(AP) ...The third time's the charm.

SHORTCUT: A northern California company says addresses on the Internet 
are too long, too complex, and too hard to remember and type. So the 
company, centraal, has released a new product that allows a lengthy 
"URL", such as http://www.thisistrue.com/books.html, to be replaced 
with simple key words. Their demonstration: replacing a lengthy address
for a Walt Disney web page with the keyword "Bambi". But when reporters
and customers tried the example keyword, they were not shown a doe-eyed
cartoon deer, but doe-eyed live dears on a pornographic site. "THIS 
AIN'T DISNEY, BOYS!" complained one irate user. "I think I might not 
use the Bambi example anymore," sheepish company president Keith Teare 
told reporters. (Reuters) ...That's nothing: you should see "Thumper".

OFFICIAL SCORECARD SHOWS 53,297 DOWN, JUST 1,946,703 TO GO: "Poll: 2 
Million Women Fantasize about Clinton" -- UPI headline
--
Kathy E
"I can only please one person a day, today is NOT your day, and tomorrow
isn't looking too good for you either"
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