Kathy E <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> writes:
DIRTY LAUNDRY: Kmart is recalling talking children's T-shirts because of
what they say out loud. The shirts show the "Sesame Street" character
Cookie Monster. When the child pushes a button on the front, Mr.
Monster says, "Time to truck." But a Kmart manager in Lakewood, Colo.,
confirms "truck" doesn't sound all that clear. "It definitely comes out
with an 'f'," she says. The foul-mouthed shirt came to the attention of
Kmart after a complaint by angry parents who said their 19-month-old
son picked up a "dirty word" from his T-shirt. (UPI) ...Just a
manufacturing error -- the shirts were supposed to be size XL, not 3T.
FICTIONAL CHARACTER: Mofakharul Shahin bought a rat-infested building
for a new curry restaurant. He spent 100,000 pounds (US$170,000)
cleaning it up, inside and out, but the Islington, England, city council
thought little of his effort, thank you. It's now so clean it's "out of
step with the neighbours," the council complains. "They want it to be
dirty and scruffy like other buildings in the street. Can they be
serious?" an exasperated Shahin complained. (Reuters) ...We've been
meaning to talk to you about the food. It's good, which puts it out of
character for the whole country.
A MIND IS A TERRIBLE THING TO WASTE: Colorado Governor Roy Romer is
under fire for the way he spent $2.9 million from a special energy
conservation fund, money that was supposed to provide weather
insulation for low-income housing. Instead, he issued an executive
order that the money, a third of the fund's annual budget that had been
slated to weatherize 1,523 homes, should instead be spent on Western
Governors University, also known as "Internet University", an
initiative being put together by 18 states to take higher education
online. Each of the states was supposed to contribute $100,000. "There
are a lot of good ideas that can be killed off because you're worrying,
'Is everybody paying the exact amount?'," Romer said after multiplying
Colorado's contribution 29 times, adding he thinks using energy
conservation funds for such a purpose is valid since the new university
will have no buildings, thus students will not be driving to and from
the college. "This is an innovative way to save energy," the governor
claims. "Quite frankly, we need to be forward-thinking here." (Rocky
Mountain News) ...Indeed. Voters will be anxiously thinking forward to
the next election.
POLE TAXED: When the women's section of England's Bristol West Labour
Party learned that one of its new members was in the process of a sex
change, they voted to throw her out of the meeting. Rosalind Mitchell,
who was elected to the Bristol City Council a year ago, still has not
completed her gender reassignment surgery and, the group said, is thus
still a man and therefore not welcome to attend their meetings. "My
passport says I'm a woman," complained Mitchell afterward. "My driving
licence says I'm a woman. My National Health Service records say I'm a
woman." (AFP) ...The headline: "Politician says Her Penis Lied about her
Being a Man".
HILLBILLY HONEYMOON: The Buckhannon-Upshur (W.Va) Chamber of Commerce is
sponsoring a wedding contest to lure people to move to the area. The
winner, who must submit a 100-word-or-less essay saying why a wedding
in the hills of West Virginia would be a "dream come true", will get a
$15,000 package that includes blood tests, the ceremony, formal wear,
an acre of land to live on, and a scholarship for the winner's first-
born. (AP) ...Not included: the wedding shotgun.
LET US PREY: Britain's Avon Silversmiths is launching a new vestment
accessory at the annual National Christian Resources Exhibition: a
crucifix with a built-in robbery alarm. "It looks like an ordinary
crucifix, but one tug will set it off -- and it's loud," a company
spokesman says. The 169-pound (US$283) cross is the company's response
to reports that one in three British clergy have been attacked on the
job. But pastors in Kentucky have a better idea: they have succeeded in
their quest to amend the state's concealed weapons law, which
specifically excluded churches from the allowable locations citizens
could carry weapons. Ministers and priests were upset by the exclusion
and lobbied for the right to carry guns to fend off robbers after
collection plates. An amendment to the law has passed to eliminate the
loophole. (Reuters, 2) ...The Lord helps those who help themselves;
southern preachers shoot those who help themselves.
TAKE A FLYING LEAP: Cook County (Ill.) Judge Michael Murphy is unhappy
with Paul Iverson. Neighbors complained that the Arlington Heights man
had too much junk in his yard. Despite removing "30 truckloads" of
junk, the judge says it's not enough and is fining the man $500 a day
until he complies with the court's order. The fine so far: $49,000, and
the judge hints jail may be next. Judge Murphy was not amused by one
attempt Iverson made to keep from having to move the fuselage of an old
727 airliner out of his yard. Iverson got license plates for the
airplane and says the plane is a "recreational vehicle". (UPI) ...Only
for Illinoisans named Hugh Hefner.
CHOPPER STOPPER: "Swedish Dentist Seizes Teeth in Payment Dispute" --
AFP headline
--
Kathy E
"I can only please one person a day, today is NOT your day, and tomorrow
isn't looking too good for you either"
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