I am overseas with a group of MPs now and Huhne was supposed to be part of the group. None of the group here are sad to see him not here. Not generally well liked.
Sent from my iPhone On 14 Mar 2013, at 15:11, Robert Woodmansey <[email protected]> wrote: > > To say that our friend Mr Huhne has made one or two crass errors of judgment > over recent months is clearly something which cannot be understated; but it > should equally be noted that there was a witless inevitability to his asinine > progress that could have been anticipated by anyone who had been even dimly > aware of his existence over the last three decades. > > You see – it is never sensible to trust a man, particularly one who seeks > public office, who has what is patently such a fucking awful taste in women. > > Witness the Inglorious Tony – hamstrung in each and every foray on to the > public stage not only by his simpering, sycophantic demeanor, but also by > having to drag that capaciously-mawed gorgon around with him; teetering and > gawping across the political landscape wearing make up applied by an artless > ten year old that did nothing to diffuse or disguise the angular dysfunction > of a face roughly hacked out of tofu with a blunt knife. Jesus. How he ever > sat easily at the top table of the world’s leaders with that thing slumped at > his side is beyond comprehension. > > Huhne, clearly, has ventured that nothing can be quite so repulsive as what > has gone before but, as you might now reasonably expect of him, this has been > a grave miscalculation. The Pryce creature, to be fair, had a 50/50 chance of > being irredeemably grim due to her Greek heritage. She was either going to be > an aureate, slender goddess, all flawless brunette colouring with shimmering > dark highlights and skin with the flocculent lushness of a peach, or she was > going to look like a bloke. Unfortunately, genetics set her helplessly adrift > down this second path of duplicitous manliness, then slapped her arse to > send her on the way with particularly malevolent mutations that left us with > something akin to Ronnie Barker wearing a shit ginger wig. With, one would > imagine, the texture of pigskin indecorously fingered and poked through dusty > hessian cloth. > > Huhne, however, saw the light – unlikely though that might have been with > most of his horizons obscured by the hulking mass of animate Stygian gloom to > which he found himself fettered. He chose to seek succor elsewhere, and took > up fornicative cudgels with the piquantly named Carina Trimingham. The very > name evokes pert simplicity – archetypal Country Life cover material - and > you’d have thought that she would have been serviceably attractive as a > result, if a little unadventurous, bordering on the plain side of things but > ultimately scrubbing up nicely if enough of mummy and daddy’s cash was thrown > at it, err, her. > > What you wouldn’t expect is some sort of cartoon character with a head the > shape of a jelly bean, or – if you’re either five years old or own a child of > a proximate age – like Igglepiggle from In The Night Garden. Trimingham has > the unfortunate knack of looking like someone different in every photo taken > of her; the sickener for her, and possible for Huhne too, is that none of her > doppelgangers are flattering in any way, shape, manner or form. Chris Barrie > - or Rimmer - from Red Dwarf; Ryan Miller – goaltender for the Buffalo Sabres > of the NHL (I shit you not); even her hair “style” is seemingly based on > either Jack Douglas from the Carry On films or someone deep in the lineage of > the Plantagenet kings at the turn of the first millennium. Stylishly and > expensively coiffeured it is not, unless it’s one of those fucking > extortionate Emma Bridgewater pudding basins that’s been used to achieve the > desired effect… > > She also appears to be joyless, lacking any appreciable curves, dowdy and > have a penchant for crew-neck dresses that make her look like a nun throwing > caution to the wind in particularly conservative (small “c’”) style on the > one-day-out-of-the-convent-per-year trip to Waitrose or something equally > tedious. > > So there you are. Huhne’s judgement is beyond either hope or repair. He’s > fucked up grandly not once, but twice, and I don’t suppose that his selection > criteria are going to get any more discerning in the short term, as a few > weeks having the attentions of Brian The Fister from e-wing as your best > option for a spot of carnal delight is hardly going to see you raising your > standards to thus far neglected heights when seeking comfort and redress on > restoration to your usual sphere of endeavours following your release… > > _______________________________________________ > Leedslist mailing list > Info and options: http://mailman.greennet.org.uk/mailman/listinfo/leedslist > To unsubscribe, email [email protected] > > MARCHING ON TOGETHER _______________________________________________ Leedslist mailing list Info and options: http://mailman.greennet.org.uk/mailman/listinfo/leedslist To unsubscribe, email [email protected] MARCHING ON TOGETHER
