Yeah, like we're all married to models.
On 14 March 2013 13:52, Mark Tuffey <[email protected]> wrote: > > Agreed, and in two words...Michelle Obama! Arrogant c#%t! > Cheers > Mark > El Presidente Wisconsin Whites > Leeds United > Chicago Fire > > > > From: [email protected] > > > To say that our friend Mr Huhne has made one or two crass errors of > judgment over recent months is clearly something which cannot be > understated; but it should equally be noted that there was a witless > inevitability to his asinine progress that could have been anticipated by > anyone who had been even dimly aware of his existence over the last three > decades. > > > > You see – it is never sensible to trust a man, particularly one who > seeks public office, who has what is patently such a fucking awful taste in > women. > > > > Witness the Inglorious Tony – hamstrung in each and every foray on to > the public stage not only by his simpering, sycophantic demeanor, but also > by having to drag that capaciously-mawed gorgon around with him; teetering > and gawping across the political landscape wearing make up applied by an > artless ten year old that did nothing to diffuse or disguise the angular > dysfunction of a face roughly hacked out of tofu with a blunt knife. Jesus. > How he ever sat easily at the top table of the world’s leaders with that > thing slumped at his side is beyond comprehension. > > > > Huhne, clearly, has ventured that nothing can be quite so repulsive as > what has gone before but, as you might now reasonably expect of him, this > has been a grave miscalculation. The Pryce creature, to be fair, had a > 50/50 chance of being irredeemably grim due to her Greek heritage. She was > either going to be an aureate, slender goddess, all flawless brunette > colouring with shimmering dark highlights and skin with the flocculent > lushness of a peach, or she was going to look like a bloke. Unfortunately, > genetics set her helplessly adrift down this second path of duplicitous > manliness, then slapped her arse to send her on the way with particularly > malevolent mutations that left us with something akin to Ronnie Barker > wearing a shit ginger wig. With, one would imagine, the texture of pigskin > indecorously fingered and poked through dusty hessian cloth. > > > > Huhne, however, saw the light – unlikely though that might have been > with most of his horizons obscured by the hulking mass of animate Stygian > gloom to which he found himself fettered. He chose to seek succor > elsewhere, and took up fornicative cudgels with the piquantly named Carina > Trimingham. The very name evokes pert simplicity – archetypal Country Life > cover material - and you’d have thought that she would have been > serviceably attractive as a result, if a little unadventurous, bordering on > the plain side of things but ultimately scrubbing up nicely if enough of > mummy and daddy’s cash was thrown at it, err, her. > > > > What you wouldn’t expect is some sort of cartoon character with a head > the shape of a jelly bean, or – if you’re either five years old or own a > child of a proximate age – like Igglepiggle from In The Night Garden. > Trimingham has the unfortunate knack of looking like someone different in > every photo taken of her; the sickener for her, and possible for Huhne too, > is that none of her doppelgangers are flattering in any way, shape, manner > or form. Chris Barrie - or Rimmer - from Red Dwarf; Ryan Miller – > goaltender for the Buffalo Sabres of the NHL (I shit you not); even her > hair “style” is seemingly based on either Jack Douglas from the Carry On > films or someone deep in the lineage of the Plantagenet kings at the turn > of the first millennium. Stylishly and expensively coiffeured it is not, > unless it’s one of those fucking extortionate Emma Bridgewater pudding > basins that’s been used to achieve the desired effect… > > > > She also appears to be joyless, lacking any appreciable curves, dowdy > and have a penchant for crew-neck dresses that make her look like a nun > throwing caution to the wind in particularly conservative (small “c’”) > style on the one-day-out-of-the-convent-per-year trip to Waitrose or > something equally tedious. > > > > So there you are. Huhne’s judgement is beyond either hope or repair. > He’s fucked up grandly not once, but twice, and I don’t suppose that his > selection criteria are going to get any more discerning in the short term, > as a few weeks having the attentions of Brian The Fister from e-wing as > your best option for a spot of carnal delight is hardly going to see you > raising your standards to thus far neglected heights when seeking comfort > and redress on restoration to your usual sphere of endeavours following > your release… > > > > _______________________________________________ > > Leedslist mailing list > > Info and options: > http://mailman.greennet.org.uk/mailman/listinfo/leedslist > > To unsubscribe, email [email protected] > > > > MARCHING ON TOGETHER > > _______________________________________________ > Leedslist mailing list > Info and options: > http://mailman.greennet.org.uk/mailman/listinfo/leedslist > To unsubscribe, email [email protected] > > MARCHING ON TOGETHER > -- vectoria.co.uk concentrichron.com -- Mindbrix -- Dream it, draw it, build it, love it 69 Derby Street Beeston Nottingham NG9 2LG +44 7905 311 352 [email protected] www.mindbrix.co.uk Skype: ntbarber twitter.com/mindbrix _______________________________________________ Leedslist mailing list Info and options: http://mailman.greennet.org.uk/mailman/listinfo/leedslist To unsubscribe, email [email protected] MARCHING ON TOGETHER
