Sunday started badly enough. It was the pétanque club's tripe breakfast and
I was struggling to get going after yesterday's electioneering. There was
no hair of the dog because we were playing football away and with the
slight detour I had to take, I would be driving 150km.

The tripe was good when I got mine at 10, but everybody else was already
pissed and it's no fun being the only one sober.

Lovely day though.

Got to Briffons got changed and warmed up in the strong sunshine directly
under the snow fields of the Sancy volcanoes. You couldn't see individual
skiers but you could see the lifts working. Real holiday feeling.

The pitch was quite uneven, but not too bumpy because the grass was flat
and the soil spongy, as you would be after two or three months under snow.
It was a footballer's pitch.

We started with nine because three of our lads had managed to lose
themselves. We were still nil-nil ten minutes into the game when they
turned up.

I wish they hadn't have bothered. 17-0! That's seventeen-nil! Including 11
(eleven) goals coming directly from a failed offside trap operated by
players who fundamentally don't understand off-side.

It made no difference dropping back to help out - without an outlet anymore
our play was compressed into the last third of the pitch and the law of
averages gave them six more goals.

In any case, as a 52 year old you get pissed off running up and down and
side to side all day whilst the 20 year olds in the team just watch
you.asyou go past them.

Seventeen Nil

Briffons were sporting and gracious winners and they touchingly applauded
when an attempted lob landed on top of the net just the wrong side of the
bar.

Getting diesel at the start of my detour I was ambushed into a few drinks
(there's a bar in the petrol station). I had to put up with the inevitable
piss taking 'cos I drank shandies. The cops were breathalysing 50 yards
down the road and I saw them clock my car - one of these days I'll find my
name on a list somewhere.

That's also when I found out that the Tripe had finished in a series of
punch ups, possibly connected to the elections. The husband of an
opposition candidate had his nose broken.

I'd spoken to him in the morning and he had been a bit agitated. Mix that
with a group of kids who'd arrived directly from a ball in a neighbouring
village - an hour's sleep in a Golf doesn't sober you up much before our
bar opened at 8 - and you get as we say "Michot's your uncle....... With
the broken nose".

Seventeen Nil and my political career (I'm bound to be blamed) is certainly
already over.

Cheech, what a day....

Damian
(we dreamed o' five-one)

PS Obligatory Leeds bit - All eyes on next satdi 'cos we lost five one at
home last week. Just saying like...
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John 'Grampa' Sykes
Rest In Peace old lad
28th Oct 1938 - 12 Nov 2013
MARCHING ON TOGETHER

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