I’m not sure, 28 years on, whether the spirit of some of my giddier keyboard moments may have been undermined by time, and common-sense :-)
As Rob said, ‘typifies the times’ maybe, but…..? I am, however, completely in line with Rog re Beckenbauer! > On 11 Jan 2024, at 15:00, Vijay Bhakta <[email protected]> wrote: > > I seem to recall VOICE / VOICEY or something like that, then changed their > name to something else, Chantelle or something ? > > memory is not as good as it used to be > > > KR > > Vijay. > >> On Thu, 11 Jan 2024 at 11:14, John Boocock <[email protected]> wrote: >> >> Any contributions for updates? I have already corrected a couple of typos. >> >> I already have ASCII Maps, JoTL, Beermeister, MNES, LUST and Totty Twins >> on the blocks. >> >> Betty >> >> >> THE LEEDS LIST GLOSSARY AS AT August 28th, 1996 >> >> A collection of nicknames, acronyms and descriptions all purporting to >> relate to the unofficial Leeds United AFC internet mailing list, >> composed or edited by Betty Boocock, with several contributions coming >> from the individuals concerned. So, if you're confused and bewildered by >> the in-jokes and strange references on the list, read on and let >> enlightenment flow... >> >> ADOLPHI - Home of the pre match list meet, really called the Adelphi, >> but renamed when it was suggested that the NF might have once met there. >> >> ARMCHAIR - Usual seat taken by most opinionated members of the list, >> preferably in foreign climes where the best view is always available. NB >> the enormous, motorised armchair is Betty's large car built by French >> communists. >> >> BETTY - according to Andy 'Blood on Yer Boots' King, "I seem to remember >> earlier this year you sorted out a few of the listers (Maggie, >> Squiggle?) problems, and for a while the list was more like a ‘Dear >> Aunty Betty the Agony Aunt’ list than a Leeds list". According to Guy: >> "Because of your Betty Boothroyd tendencies during a number of >> disputes." If the truth be known, it is because my Aunty Betty Boocock >> is the only member of the family still left in Swinnow. >> >> BLIND JOHN - Mr John Lukic (a former custodian of the onion bag). >> >> BMW - The Best Mate's Wife. Euphemism for mistress, only used by cads >> and bounders. >> >> BOTL - Birds on The List. The women who contribute to life on the list, >> and that's real women, not transvestites like Betty and Maggie. >> >> BTW - Standard computer nerd acronym for "by the way”. Apparently, this >> saves ink. >> >> CASHBURN, NEWMONEY - (Come on, you can work those out, can't you?) >> >> CHURCH OF THE REAL MAN/YORKSHIRE MAN - situated in the heart of the West >> Leeds triangle of Burley, Headingley and Kirkstall, the Church and its >> leader, Da Reverend John Lee, instructs devotees in the art of >> Grolsch-swilling, currying, nesting, and opinionated conversation, >> especially in the company of students who are not tolerated within the >> Church. Chief doctrines include NO Rabid Canines, no buying Sharp >> products, the sworn aim of the destruction of all things Lancastrian and >> the moving of Parliament to Swaledale. It's anti Southern-Jessy & >> Wearside-maggot philosophies easily identify the brethren. Dress sense >> is casual with attitude, musical preferences eclectic but no hippie >> shit, and a love of Geoffrey Boycott is essential. A definite NO SCABS >> rule applies to membership, regardless of all other criteria, although >> if you've ever shagged Sophie Rayworth you're probably in! Birds are >> tolerated, but only if they're fit, can cook curry or are related to DRB >> by marriage. In short, the brethren of justice and righteousness found >> in the Church of the Real Man/Yorkshire Man are Gods children on Earth, >> reside in the Land of the Gods and will surely one day inherit the Earth >> (and will then proceed to wipe Lancashire off it!). >> >> CHINAMAN - Young Lee Sharpe >> >> DENIS - I ended up with Denis cos after the headshave at Euronet 96, I >> ended up looking like Denis Irwin. Fortunately, my hair's grown back a >> bit now. Still, it's better than being accused of looking like >> 'Sutcliffe' a few years ago (not funny I know, but that's southern >> 'humour' for you). >> >> dOLEITE - (see SQUIGGLE). >> >> DRB - Custodian of the reserve report and choirmaster of the Choir of >> Unholy Angels, who normally give concerts on the Football Special of a >> match day. >> >> DUNDERHEAD - My list name is not a nickname but in fact my surname. This >> is itself an Anglicisation of our previous, family name of Dumbkopf. My >> great-grandfather, like many first-generation German immigrants during >> the Great War, thought it prudent to change the family name of >> Pimmelkopf to Windsor, but those damned Saxe-Cobourgs had beaten him to >> it. He chose instead the more familiar surname of Dumbkopf, being true >> to his Hanoverian roots while adopting a name commonly understood in >> Great Britain. >> >> FAKE TAN - If it is of any interest, the reason for my moniker Fake-Tan >> is that after my first Adelphi trip before The Witness' hat-trick >> against Ipswich, Da Rev sent this message to the List: "Apologies to >> those of you in't Adelphi last night, I was completely knackered and >> needed a few stiff drinks to get me moving again so wasn't my usual >> whingeing lively self. Good to put a few more faces to names, Dave (RB) >> and Charlie (Is it really that sunny up in Durham or was that fake-tan, >> I think we should be old!!)." To which my reply was: "Well the secret is >> out, thanks to a great night with the Listers in the Adelphi; cheers for >> making me so welcome. Seeing The Witness get a first-half hat-trick >> right in front of us in the Kop was something special. Now the Fake-Tan: >> Take Your Pick, all or none of the following could be responsible: >> >> 1. It is fake-tan and I have bought Clayton Blackmore's used Sun-Bed; 2. >> It is sunny in Durham, and I do a bit of running; 3. It is hereditary, >> my father looks like a ruddy-faced farmer (he's a Blade); 4. I drink far >> too much malt." >> >> GBSS - Green and Blue Striped Shirt (as worn at away matches and in Mr >> Goodair's bedroom) see also YBSS. >> >> HAM SANDWICH - OK, this was the label given to me by the rabid Reverend >> Mr John Lee after the TSB-Lard match. At 2pm he wanted to go for a curry >> -- I couldn't stomach it at that time and besides, no-where would've >> been open, so instead we all headed down to Granary Wharf? where I >> tucked into a tasty ham sandwich, baked spud and a gingerbread man. The >> Rev then branded me with that name and the rest is history. Trouble is >> that following subsequent Lard matches, the Rev has not disproved the >> rumour that he's a korma eating Nancy. >> >> IMO/IMHO - More standard computer nerd jargon for "in my opinion/in my >> humble opinion. Supposedly saves nanoseconds at the list server. >> >> JABBA - see THE PLASTIC PENGUIN >> >> JACK THE TWAT DOORMAN - head of security at h'Elland Road, has a >> peculiarly 'posh' Yorkshire accent when interviewed on telly, entailing >> h'appearance of h's h'all h'over the place. Wears naff grey uniform and >> chauffeurs peaked hat. Complete jobsworth a la Blakey in ‘On the Buses’. >> Favourite sayings "YOU CAN'T PARK THERE"& "YOU CAN'T GO DOWN THERE -- >> EVEN PLAYERS CAN'T GO DOWN THERE!". In short, a complete f***ing >> embarrassment! His appearance on Match of the Day last season set a new >> low in the public relations history of Leeds United. >> >> JUDAS - Title applied to former heroes who willingly transfer to a new >> club, particularly after proclaiming undying love for the Gods and their >> fans. Current holder is a Mr. G. McAllister currently plying his trade >> for some obscure team in the West Midlands. (See also TPFKAM) >> >> KLKOT - Kev Lewis King of Tonga. I think it started in the Rugby Club I >> play for when we were touring. Someone reckoned that I was spread out in >> this easy chair, looking like the King of Tonga. I perpetuated it to >> some extent, by blacking-up for a game once, and finding various >> artefacts of South Sea Island origin. I have been sent various photos >> and newspaper articles on the gentleman or impostor whichever way you >> look at it. I believe MLPOT, my son, first brought this to the attention >> of the list, at a pre-match list meet in the Adolphi, it was well >> received, and the moniker took. >> >> LAND OF THE GODS - LOTG our hallowed county, the broad acres that are >> Yorkshire. >> >> LARDS - The most excellent Leeds list footie team composed of, eerm, >> anyone who can turn out. >> >> LARDETTES - anyone turning out to support the LARDS. >> >> LARNDAN - The capital city of the south of England >> >> leedslist[at]gn.apc.org - the new home of the list, but then you >> wouldn't be reading this if you didn't already know that before Gav >> (see THE LISTOWNER below) did a Macca for more brass in some technical >> college somewhere. (FYI ox.vax.ac.uk - the original home of the list) >> >> LOTSA - Land Of The Sad Alcoholic. Scotland where about two of us live. >> >> M-PEOPLE - ask Ade Thompson (Ham Sandwich) and heavy metal guru Maggie >> Barber. >> >> MAD DOG - Our dearly beloved manager. see also TMFKAW. >> >> MAGGIE BARBER - Erstwhile Lards manager, named after the WFKATPM, Maggie >> Thatcher. He is noted as having once said "That's Margaret to you." when >> addressing the Rev in the Adolphi. >> >> MNES - Magnificent New East Stand. Complete with medicated toilet paper. >> >> MOALM - Mother of All List Meets (The List meet the night before the >> Fizzy Pop Cup Final, plus the pre- and post-match meets on the day). >> Also leads to various offshoots. I'm sure you can all work Fizzy Pop Cup >> out:-) >> >> MUCKSHIFTER - As a young roofer in Wakey, I was bollocked by the clerk >> of works on a building site in Crigglestone for throwing a load of old >> slates in to a freshly dug trench. The two blokes (1 Irish, 1 Polish) >> who had dug the trench, told the foreman where to stick his shovel when >> asked to clear up my mess. I was then ordered by a very irate foreman to >> "get cracking” and had to climb in the trench to remove all the >> knackered slates. The Polish bloke, while laughing at my feeble attempts >> to clear 6ft with a spadeful of rubbish, called me a "useless >> muckshifter", which is what builders call a JCB (or they used to). The >> name stuck for a while. Anyway, nowadays I work for a publisher, and >> while looking through a list of journals I was amazed to spot one called >> "Muckshifter", which is about mechanical diggers, not about skinny >> 16-year-old Wakey lads. The memories came flooding back, I can still >> smell the asbestos now! I don't really know why I decided to use it as a >> pseudonym.......perhaps there is something wrong with me? Mam, mam, can >> I come out of this cupboard now .........! >> >> OCCUPIED YORKSHIRE - Anywhere outside of Yorkshire. >> >> OCTOPUSSY - Mr Carlton Palmer (see most video footage of his performances). >> >> POPE PAUL - Paul MacGowan, apologist for the MAD DOG and leader of the >> acolytes, Mrs Firm and Silent Bob, lost somewhere west of the Dingle >> Peninsula. >> >> RUSTBELT CITY - Sheffield (allegedly playing football in LOTG). >> >> SCUM - Manchester United (and thus Scummers, Scumchester etc..). >> >> SOTG - Stadium of The Gods. Our superb ground, Elland Road. >> >> SQUIGGLE - Just as Doctor Who had to have a new face every few years, I >> must have a new name every few months. Firstly, there was "The Voice of >> Football". This was apt at the time, because by thunder did I know my >> stuff. Then, when football died as we knew and loved it (circa the >> building of the Old Trafford megastore) I metamorphosised into<~O >> (formerly the gobshite known as Voice). This was partly in protest at >> the bastardisation of our beautiful game, and partly so the Internet >> Hotspurs didn't kick the shit out of me. Then it was Squiggle -- this >> was because my keyboard lost its "~" sign. (I think it was set up >> incorrectly). Along the way there's been Chantelle and others. Now, I'm >> plain old dOLEITE. Not very imaginative, not very amusing. Just apt. >> (sniff! sniff!). <~O (who's just found ASCII code 126) >> >> STEVIE GRANDDAD - I'm afraid it's not very interesting but the Granddad >> comes from my band Granddads Don't Indicate. We all get called the >> Granddads cos the whole thing is such a gob full, hence Stevie Granddad, >> (my mother-in-law insists on calling me it??). Nowt to do with Leeds, >> nowt to do with sprogs, sorry. >> >> TAPP - see THE PLASTIC PENGUIN. >> >> THE ARSE - Arsenal FC (world's most boring football team). >> >> THE BOY WETH - Rather dull origin of "The Boy Weth". Half derived from an >> >> office I worked in adapting "The Boy Lineker" all those years ago for >> all of us. Thus, The Boy Lawrenson, The Boy Gaymer etc. Told you it was >> dull. When I enrolled on E World, I had no idea that a name was >> required, panicked and put that in. Mind you, it has inspired me to end >> messages again with The Boy Weth. >> >> THE DON - Mr Donald Revie (a management God - well to 99.99% of us). >> >> THE GODS - Our glorious team. >> >> THE LISTOWNER - Gav Burnage who "looks after" his foundling, The List. >> He gets called other things too: Eric, Erique, Canto, Ooh Aah French >> Wanker (a few hundred arsenal fans did the latter one), Fuck Off Cantona >> (a few hundred Leeds fans did that one). >> >> THE MESSIAH - Mr Anthony Yeboah (an imported German nickname). >> >> THE PLONKER - Rodney Wallace who seems to obey the Law of Gravity at >> every opportunity and make intimate contact with the ground anytime he >> has the ball and often without it. >> >> THE QUIET MAN - Roger Michelle Goodair, part time Bradford Bulls >> supporter and hammer of the ladies in sensible shoes. >> >> THE RHINESTONE COWBOY - The Rhinestone Cowboy, if he exists, can be >> found in crappy boozers like The Nags Head, Market Tavern and the Regent >> selling dodgy copies of Pocohontas or fake Tag Heuers -- when he's not >> on holiday in places like Italy allegedly checking out some player who >> has absolutely no intention of coming to Leeds! Has sponsorship from >> Gerry and Sylvia Anderson for his Joe 90 style glasses, which must emit >> some form of stupidity ray on past performance. >> >> THE WITNESS - see MESSIAH above. >> >> THE YOUNG GODS - Yorkshire County Cricket Club. >> >> THEATRE OF WET DREAMS - An ironic reference to Old Trafford. >> >> "THERE'LL BE WEEPING IN THE STREETS OF BOURNEMOUTH TONIGHT" - A >> non-ironic reference to a SCUM defeat. >> >> TMFKAW - The Manager Formerly Known as Wilko. Our illustrious Manager, >> Mr Howard Wilkinson (see also MAD DOG). >> >> TPFKAM - The Player (or is it penalty taker?) Formerly Known as Macca. A >> onetime captain of our glorious team, now starring in a new show at >> Highfield Road -- along with several other people who are just pawns in >> the game of life that is Premiership Footie. (see also JUDAS). >> >> THE PLASTIC PENGUIN - This came from two separate occasions: in Dublin >> for the pre-season game in 1995, I turned up at the pub in white shirt & >> dark trousers (heading to a club afterwards) -- Gav said I looked like >> something out of Riverdance, so I gave a quick hop& jig - only to be >> told that that was more like a penguin. Hence Penguin. Then at the Spurs >> away game a month or so later, I thought I'd lost my match ticket. I >> found it buried in the depths of my wallet -- I found it after I'd >> removed my copious collection of credit cards (and to my shame, a >> Sainsbury's Spend'n'Save card :-). Hence Plastic Penguin. Shortly >> afterwards, it turned out that there was a big drugs boss in Dublin who >> had arranged several nasty accidents -- he was called The Penguin, so I >> became the Plastic Puffin for my own safety. Joined in the mad list rush >> to abbreviation as TAPP (The Abbreviated Plastic Puffin) before >> reverting to my long-standing nickname of Jabba when I finally grew out >> of it all. >> >> TSB - The Square Ball. Rip off Gods fanzine. >> >> WIACW - Wilko Is A Complete Wanker. A commentary on our manager's >> ability (or lack of it) as Mr Goodair signed off for quite a while. Mr >> Goodair has Football Managerial pretensions himself (see also LARDS) >> >> VATMAN - Mr Robin Launders, our recently appointed, ex scum employee, >> Chief Executive and man in charge of the Bendix. (Vatman and Robin >> geddit?). >> >> VINNY - (as in 'the Jones Boy') When I started my present job, Vinny >> Jones was still terrorising Div 2 opposition with a dodgy wedge(ish) >> haircut! I decided to have a similar style and when the blokes here >> found out I supported Leeds someone mentioned Vinny Jones. A couple of >> weeks later they asked me to play in an inter-company tournament and I >> was put at Left back. I think we were one-nil up at half time but only >> just holding on, as they had a big bloke (compared to me) of about 16 >> stone in the centre of midfield who was running the show. Our manager >> (my boss) decided to move me into the centre at half-time and just after >> the restart there was a 50-50 ball between us. We both steamed in, and I >> don't know where the ball went but I got up and he didn't. He limped off >> a few moments later as my colleagues on the sidelines started chanting >> VINNY VINNY! We went on to win 3-0 and a new nickname was born. >> >> WATC-COE - We Are the Champions - Champions of Europe. To be sung loudly >> and shirtless throughout half time at away games, to remind us of our >> true standing (no matter how crap we happen to be playing). >> >> YBSS - Yellow and blue striped shirt (see also GBSS). >> >> Compiled by Betty >> >> August 28th, 1996 >> >> _______________________________________________ >> Leedslist mailing list >> Info and options: https://mailman.gn.apc.org/mailman/listinfo/leedslist >> To unsubscribe, email [email protected] >> >> Find us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/groups/leedslist/ >> >> Dave Dowden, a legend, a Totty Twin, a pie man! R.I.P. > _______________________________________________ > Leedslist mailing list > Info and options: https://mailman.gn.apc.org/mailman/listinfo/leedslist > To unsubscribe, email [email protected] > > Find us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/groups/leedslist/ > > Dave Dowden, a legend, a Totty Twin, a pie man! R.I.P. _______________________________________________ Leedslist mailing list Info and options: https://mailman.gn.apc.org/mailman/listinfo/leedslist To unsubscribe, email [email protected] Find us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/groups/leedslist/ Dave Dowden, a legend, a Totty Twin, a pie man! R.I.P.
