I like your more verbose discussion but your summary lacks the human element present in your more comprehensive statements.
I recommend adding "Be specific" to the guidelines, disagreements often arise simply from people holding two different definitions for the same concept. I recommend dropping "The less said the better". Sometimes "more" needs to be said. Some people are also naturally more verbose. Both of those things are fine and simply need to be dealt with on a case by case basis. I recommend avoiding "Being blunt". The word "blunt" has more negative connotations than positive. It's a word with a lot of ambiguity and dual meaning, thusly telling somebody to be blunt can be interpreted in a way you may not have intended. Other than that, almost everything said here can help avoid "heated discussions". On Saturday, July 14, 2018 at 4:23:35 AM UTC-4, Edward K. Ream wrote: > > There have been several remarks on collaboration in the "Three demos" > thread <https://groups.google.com/forum/#!topic/leo-editor/GkMTfp8W1hc>. > It's worth its own thread. > > > John: Skepticism is fine when maintaining a mature code base, but *any* > show of hostility to change ends in results like this: contributor > alienation. > > I understand John's wanting to "make nice", but the word "hostility" can > be taken several ways, as I'll explain. > > > Xavier: premature judgement is the root of all evil! > > This is a fine principle, but I don't think it is the heart of the matter. > > Here are the principles I follow. I recommend them to all devs. > > *Use "I" messages* > > Talk about what *you* think, or what *you* feel. Rebecca taught me this > when we were first married. It makes a world of difference. > > Not: "You are an unfeeling so and so". > > But: "I feel hurt by what you said". > > This can lower the temperature when things get hot. It is less likely to > be perceived as a personal attack. But beware of false "I" message, like, > "I'm sorry you are an unfeeling so and so" :-) > > Another caveat: The "Boeing Way" is management's statement: "You can do X > if...". Imo, this is a superb mental "trick". It works because it empowers > the messages receiver to solve problems. > > *Make the subject technical, not personal* > > Discuss the pros and cons of the technical issue under discussion, not the > people discussing the issue. > > Don't take criticism of your ideas personally, but be aware that anyone, > including yourself, is prone to do so. > > *Say what you mean* > > My intention is to always say what I mean as clearly as I can, without > weasel words. This can be mistaken for premature judgement. > > There is one great benefit to plain speaking. If I am wrong, I shall be > seen as *clearly *wrong, and my mistakes will be corrected. > > I train devs to push back against my ideas by changing my mind. Two days > ago I said that I would not approve the new data model while I was project > leader. Yesterday I said that I would approve Vitalije's work if Terry > also agreed. > > Was my first statement a "premature judgement"? No. It was my clear > opinion at the time. And implicitly, it was a test of Vitalije's > commitment. If Vitalije did not have the gumption to fight for his ideas, > he would not have earned the right to put them into practice. > > > *The less said, the better* > > We mistake words for power. We think, more the better. Often, the reverse > is true. > > I changed my mind yesterday for several reasons, but one was Vitalije's > statement that supporting hoists (and chapters) would take about 30 minutes. > > Then he said that a hoist would just be a slice of the data structure. > It's a great picture. My thought was, that's elegant. A hoist is, > conceptually, exactly that slice. > > > *Keep calm, don't panic* > > Don't write what you may regret. Sleep on important replies. Edit out > anything that could be considered a personal attack. > > *Summary* > > The following are useful guidelines, not cure-alls: > > - Use I messages. > - Keep discussions impersonal. > - Be concise, even blunt. The less said, the better. > - Pictures are more persuasive than words. > - Be willing to change your mind. > - Be willing to push back, to fight for your ideas. > - Stay calm and respectful. > > All comments welcome. > > Edward > -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "leo-editor" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to leo-editor+unsubscr...@googlegroups.com. To post to this group, send email to leo-editor@googlegroups.com. Visit this group at https://groups.google.com/group/leo-editor. For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout.
