Luke, I appreciate your mention of the CRNHQ stuff. I have not seen that exact material before but many other things like it. I agree wholeheartedly that this sort of recognition of victim mentality is important.
Another framing is to say that we can have a TO-ME attitude (victim consciousness) or a BY-ME (creator consciousness) or yet more higher consciousness perspectives like THROUGH-ME (going with the flow and not making it about ourselves and our egos). All that said, I don't think you have enough knowledge of Deb and what she is saying to diagnose her state here. One principle worth remembering is to "eat your projections", if you see someone else having an issue (e.g. victim consciousness), it's a prompt to check if you are doing that and to work on making sure to avoid it yourself. When giving advice to others, it helps to ask questions, to get curious, to use language like, "I wonder if you might be having a victim mindset here. Are you suggesting that you feel wronged and want others to take action to resolve your tensions?" (that's a rough first quick suggested language, far from ideal) I should eat my own ideas and use questions myself. Are you imagining that Deb's emphasis on her own experience is designed or effectively setting her in a victim role? Partly because I know Deb, my own interpretation is that she does not feel like a victim at all. I suspect she's done her due diligence processing her own thoughtful take-responsibility approach to her own situation. I think she's sharing her perspective here for the sake of telling others about problems she sees that affect others in our movement and that have the consequence of losing valuable members who leave the movement or do not join. I have had a decent number of interactions with RMS, and none of them particularly bothered me personally. So, I'm not from any sort of victim-mentality when I suggest the concerns are real and shouldn't be minimized. I think it's a simple matter. RMS has pros and cons in his effect on the movement. Do the pros outweigh the cons? Maybe they do for participation of RMS more than leadership in a Board role? I was happy to hear him *speak* at LibrePlanet, I like hearing his thoughts. What should we do to be as objective as we can at evaluating these questions? I suggest one step is to take seriously the *input* from various sources whether or not they are in some victim-consciousness (though we could take that into account). Again, I think the victim-mentality issues are widespread, rampant, these days. And probably even in a case like Deb's, they aren't 100% absent, we all have reactivity that comes and goes. But I really suspect that it applies very little to Deb in this case and in her posts here — even though I have no hesitation to suggest to Deb that she can come across that way. I think avoiding that impression is helpful, and I hope she can consider your feedback for whatever utility it can bring her *even though* I think you were far too bold in how strongly you asserted your conclusions. Respectfully, Aaron On 2021-03-26 10:08 p.m., Luke Kenneth Casson Leighton wrote: > On Saturday, March 27, 2021, > <[1][email protected]> wrote: > > From: Deb Nicholson <[2][email protected]> > Well, it's disappointing but not surprising that a call for > improving the > way people are treated within the free software movement is being > seen by > some on this list as "hateful" or somehow in "opposition to free > software." > I honestly don't see how creating a haven for sexist behavior and > disrespect can lead to the movement's growth, but maybe I'm mistaken > in > thinking that we all want that growth. > > Deb: this response is resigned self-victimisation and conflation of > unrelated points rolled into one. > > it is a sufficiently well recognised behavioural pattern as part of > conflict that CRNHQ has a special section on it, "Cooperative Power" > > [3]https://www.crnhq.org/cr-kit/ > > Can I recommend that you read that for insights because whilst it is > clear that, like all of us here, you seek to further Software Freedom, > you are engaging in "Victim" patterns that are causing division amongst > your peers, rather than creating the collaborative and welcoming > environment that you and all here would clearly love to see. > > I trust that you will give this some thought and due attention for > future interactions with others who share the same Software Freedom > goals. > > Much respect, > > l. > > -- > --- > crowd-funded eco-conscious hardware: > [4]https://www.crowdsupply.com/eoma68 > > References > > 1. mailto:[email protected] > 2. mailto:[email protected] > 3. https://www.crnhq.org/cr-kit/ > 4. https://www.crowdsupply.com/eoma68 > > > _______________________________________________ > libreplanet-discuss mailing list > [email protected] > https://lists.libreplanet.org/mailman/listinfo/libreplanet-discuss > _______________________________________________ libreplanet-discuss mailing list [email protected] https://lists.libreplanet.org/mailman/listinfo/libreplanet-discuss
