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Hi All,

On 3/6/15 3:02 PM, Adrian Farrel wrote:

>>> Section 1
>>> 
>>> I'm really not comfortable with your text... "Indeed and as
>>> pointed out by the unpublished Internet Draft by Noel Chiappa
>>> [Chiappa]"
>>> 
>>> This isn't a stable reference and I don't think you need it.
>>> You could either rely on the later reference to RFC 4984,
>>> reference RFC 6830 itself, or take out the aside "and as... ...
>>> [Chiappa]"
>>> 
>> The same reference is cited in RFC4984 and RFC4423, it is
>> preferable to cite it as it is or cite RFC4984?
> 
> Per Brian, 4984 would be fine.

Good.

> 
>>> Section 1 has
>>> 
>>> LISP creates two separate namespaces, EIDs (End-host
>>> IDentifiers) and RLOCs (Routing LOCators), both are typically
>>> syntactically identical to the current IPv4 and IPv6
>>> addresses.
>>> 
>>> The "typically" here opens a bit of door.
>>> 
>>> RFC 6830 explains this in the definitions of EID, but seems to
>>> be clear that an RLOC is an IP address.
>>> 
>>> If you are opening up the RLOC to be something other than an IP
>>> address (a MAC address or even something else?) then how do you
>>> deal with: - lack of ICMP - non-uniqueness
>>> 
>>> Possibly you can say that this is "not my problem" since the
>>> problem would already exist in the routing system that handles
>>> the non-IP addresses. But maybe, for an introduction to the
>>> topic this is over- reaching towards the many potential
>>> applications rather than the basic explanation of the
>>> architecture?
>>> 
>>> But in your own definitions in Section 2, you have
>>> 
>>> Endpoint IDentifier (EID):  EIDs are IPv4 or IPv6 addresses
>>> used to uniquely identify nodes irrespective of their
>>> topological location and are typically routed intra-domain.
>>> 
>>> Routing LOcator (RLOC):  RLOCs are IPv4 or IPv6 addresses
>>> assigned topologically to network attachment points and
>>> typically routed inter-domain.
>>> 
>>> Neither of which offers any possibility to vary "always" into 
>>> "typically".
>>> 
>>> The again, 3.2 has...
>>> 
>>> EIDs are typically -but not limited to- IPv4 or IPv6 addresses
>>> 
>>> ...and...
>>> 
>>> With LISP, the core uses RLOCs, an RLOC is typically -but not
>>> limited to- an IPv4 or IPv6 address
>>> 
>>> Some consistency is needed!
>>> 
>>> In 3.4.1 you finally get there...
>>> 
>>> Typical mappings in LISP bind EIDs in the form of IP prefixes
>>> with a set of RLOCs, also in the form of IPs.  IPv4 and IPv6
>>> addresses are encoded using the appropriate Address Family
>>> Identifier (AFI) [RFC3232].  However LISP can also support more
>>> general address encoding by means of the ongoing effort around
>>> the LISP Canonical Address Format (LCAF) [I-D.ietf-lisp-lcaf].
>>> 
>>> Why don't you talk about everything in terms of IP adresses and
>>> then add a section somewhere near the end to talk about LCAF?
>> 
>> Agreed, as you suggest I will state that EIDs and RLOCs are IP
>> addresses, which basically means removing the word "typically".
> 
> Why don't you say "addresses" instead of "typically IP addresses"?
> That is then open to the flexibility of LCAF while still embracing
> IP addresses.

This makes sense to me.

> 
>> I also think that the text that you highlighted is sufficient to
>> explain that LCAF supports more general address encoding. Please
>> let me know if this addresses your comment.
> 
> I think it would *if* you make the change to "addresses".

Agreed.

> 
>>> Section 1 introduces "overlay" and "underlay". I think that a
>>> certain class of network engineer understands these concepts
>>> really well. And, in my experience, another class has no idea
>>> what you are talking about!
>>> 
>>> This would probably show very easily on a simple diagram
>>> showing the overlay and underlay networks.
>>> 
>>> But perhaps the summary in the Introduction is launching in a
>>> bit deep and fast? This is probably the hardest part of the
>>> document to write: how do you summarise what you haven't yet
>>> talked about? There are some bits, however, that really need
>>> work. For example...
>>> 
>>> o  EIDs have meaning only in the overlay network unless they
>>> are leaked into the underlay network.  The overlay is the 
>>> encapsulation relationship between LISP-capable routers. 
>>> Furthermore EIDs are not assigned from the reserved address 
>>> blocks.
>>> 
>>> So they have meaning only in one place, unless they have
>>> meaning in more than one place? :-)   And what is a "reserved
>>> address block"?
>> 
>> Thanks for your comment, I suggest rephrasing the bullet point in
>> the following way:
>> 
>> EIDs have meaning only in the overlay network, which is the
>> encapsulation relationship between LISP-capable routers.
>> 
>> Then Section 3.2 mentions the EID leakage as well as its
>> assignment.
> 
> A fine change. Note that you are addressing my specific example,
> giving a little bit more of a clue about what an overlay is, but
> not handling the general problem that the Introduction may be going
> to deep, or fully explaining overlay/underlay.
> 
> [snipped agreement]
> 
>>> 3.2
>>> 
>>> Such LISP capable routers, in most cases, only require a
>>> software upgrade.
>>> 
>>> That's a little disconcerting. Can you add to "in most cases"?
>> 
>> What about?
>> 
>> Adding LISP capabilities to routers does not mandate hardware
>> changes and can be done via a software upgrade.
> 
> If that's true (and I have no reason to doubt you), then that
> works.

Based on Alia's review, this whole sentence will be gone.

> 
>>> 4.1
>>> 
>>> Time-To-Live (TTL):  Each mapping contains a TTL set by the
>>> ETR, upon expiration of the TTL the ITR has to refresh the
>>> mapping by sending a new Map-Request.  Typical values for TTL
>>> defined by LISP are 24 hours.
>>> 
>>> Presumably it doesn't *have to*. It can choose to delete it and
>>> not refresh it. Maybe this should be worded as MUST NOT use
>>> after the expiration of the TTL.
>> 
>> I would prefer to avoid using the word MUST since this document 
>> does not specify LISP.
> 
> Agreed. My bad choice of emphasis marker!
> 
>> I suggest rephrasing the bullet point in the following way:
>> 
>> Time-To-Live (TTL):  Each mapping contains a TTL set by the ETR,
>> upon expiration of the TTL the ITR can't use the mapping until it
>> is refreshed by sending a new Map-Request.  Typical values for
>> TTL defined by LISP are 24 hours.
> 
> That works.

Agreed.

> 
>>> Section 5 says
> [snip]
>> I suggest the following sentence:
>> 
>> The separation between locators and identifiers in LISP was
>> initially motivated by discussions during the IAB-sponsored
>> Workshop, the outcomes are described in RFC4984.
> 
> Great. s/are/of which/
> 

Agreed.

Regards,
Brian

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