Hi Benoit, thanks for the detailed review. As Deborah stated in her reply the text is the result of a few tweaks to accommodate previous comments.
inline some suggestion to improve the text according to your remarks. ciao L. > On 21 Apr 2016, at 11:40, Benoit Claise <[email protected]> wrote: > > Benoit Claise has entered the following ballot position for > charter-ietf-lisp-03-01: No Objection > > When responding, please keep the subject line intact and reply to all > email addresses included in the To and CC lines. (Feel free to cut this > introductory paragraph, however.) > > > > The document, along with other ballot positions, can be found here: > https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/charter-ietf-lisp/ > > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > COMMENT: > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > I see: > The LISP WG is chartered to continue work on the LISP base protocol > and produce standard-track documents (unless the content of the > document itself is of a different type, e.g., informational or > experimental). I would suggest to drop the parenthesis, simplifying the sentence in: The LISP WG is chartered to continue work on the LISP base protocol and produce standard-track documents. > > And I see a redundant sentence: > Documents of these work items will as well target standard-track > unless the main content of the document itself clearly demands for > a different type (e.g., informational or experimental). In the latter > case the Working Group needs to determine the proper document > class. I would modify the beginning of the sentence as follows: Like for the main work item, documents of these work items will as well target standard-track unless the main content of the document itself clearly demands for a different type (e.g., informational or experimental). In the latter case the Working Group needs to determine the proper document class. Does those changes make the text less redundant and more clear? > > I'm afraid that those two sentences are so generic that they don't add > anything to the charter. > The following sentence is clear though, for the first set of > deliverables: > In order to produce a coherent set of documents, the first (and high > priority) work item of the LISP Working Group is to develop a > standard-track solution based on the completed Experimental RFCs > and the experience gained from early deployments. > > As AD, if you know already the track of each of the documents (the ones > under "In parallel with the previous main work item, the LISP WG will > work on the items listed below:") or want to provide guidance, my advice > is to add the milestones and the respected expected status. > See https://datatracker.ietf.org/wg/netconf/charter/ as an example. > Let us discuss the milestones and we will come back with a list. ciao L. > _______________________________________________ lisp mailing list [email protected] https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/lisp
