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> > Subject: SENIOR MOMENTS
> > > > >
> > Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over
the years they
> > had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately,
their
> > activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week
to play cards.
> > One day they were playing cards when one looked at the
other and said,
> "Now don't get mad at me.....I know we've been friends for along
time..... but
> I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I
can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her.
For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said,
"How soon do you need to know?"
> >
> > ----------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Two elderly women were eating at a restaurant one morning.
Ethel noticed
> > something funny about Mable's ear and she said, "Mable, Did
you know
> > you've got a suppository in your left ear?" Mable answered,
"I have? A
> > suppository?" She pulled it out and stared at it. Then she
said,"Ethel,
> I'm glad you saw this thing.Now I think know where my hearing
aid is."
> >
> > -------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > When the husband finally died his wife put the usual death
notice in the
> > paper, but added that he died of gonorrhea. No sooner were
the papers
> > delivered when a good friend of the family phoned and
complained bitterly,
> > "You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not
gonorrhea." Replied
> > the widow," I nursed him night and day so of course I know
he died of
> > diarrhea, but I thought it would be better for posterity to
remember him
> as a great lover rather than the big shit he always was."
> >
> > ----------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > An elderly couple was on a cruise and it was really stormy.
They were
> > standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a
wave came up
> > and washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days
and couldn't
> > find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore
with the promise
> > that he would notify him as soon as they found something.
Three weeks
> went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat. It
read: "Sir, sorry
> > to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the
ocean. We
> > hauled her up to the deck and attached to her butt was an
oyster and in
> it was a pearl worth $50,000 .. .please advise". The old man
faxed back:
> > "Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap".
> >
> > ----------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together.
One night the
> > 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses.
She yells to
> > the other sisters, "Was I gettin' in or out of the bath?"
The 94 year
> old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts
up the
> > stairs and pauses. "Was I going up the stairs or down?" The
92 year old
> is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her
sisters. She
> > shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that
forgetful." She
> > knocks on wood for good measure. She then yells, "I'll come
up and help
> > both of you as soon as I see who's at the door.
>
>
>
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